When a man gets to a certain age do they try to run away from their age?

I had a thought about this recently, well simply I've found that my grandparents seem more alive when they're surrounded by people, especially younger people.

It's like they draw their energy and motivation to keep going from the grandchildren etc.

And I wondered if that's what happens in relationships when people reach middle age.

If your partner starts to show signs of age via ailments does a switch go off inside your head that makes you think "that shits contagious" or something?

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WhateverWorks · 36-40

No, I don’t agree with the correlation, but I do think that it’s a good example of why it’s important to have a variety of people in our support system and social network. I do see The stagnation and depletion you observed happen, but it happens to couples in general who don’t have other friends/family to add diversity to their lives and delegate support as needed.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@WhateverWorks that's weird. I disagree with this. I know a guy in his 40s been with a woman for over 15 years. They had a good social life, had a home but weren't married or kids. They did seem to get on from what I knew but he fell out of love with her.
Now why I couldn't tell you, he would need to say. It's not like she stopped loving him. But a part of me thinks it got too samey and his youthfulness was too young for her maturing nature.
Who knows.
They seemed to work hard and equally play hard.
From the outside it would seem they were happy. They had a long term couple rhythm a routine, a life. But still it wasn't enough to get him to stay.

WhateverWorks · 36-40

Hard to say. There are lots of reasons people break up. You might be right about their particular experience. I’m only pointing out that it may not be as widespread of a reason as the original post asked about @Mellowgirl

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@WhateverWorks that's fine it's good to talk. And explore different scenarios as you said all relationships are different and no break up is the same.
But I often wonder what makes a person think "right, I think I want to get back out there in that dating pool, at a later stage of life".
Im struggling to find someone as a young woman now so I would probably be devastated in the event that I find someone I think is my forever and they up and leave.
And that may sound selfish. But dating is sooo hard. The criteria seems to be so wide spread I often wonder if it ain't broke why fix it. Mentality.
But I've also had to end a relationship with someone I was deeply in love with because they were messing me around.
So if it feels like a waste of time in your 20s and 30s it's probably the same in your 40s and 50s...

WhateverWorks · 36-40

Yeah dating is really hard. Very rarely do I come across someone later in life hack even in your 30s, who is super excited to be getting back into the dating pool. Most of the time It just comes down to bad fit. On average, most divorces happen before five years of being together then some thing about the 10 year mark makes people reevaluate if they want to sign up for another decade of what they’ve been doing. I’d say it usually takes people that long to accept they are on a sinking ship that won’t make them happy and they want off before they waste anymore time. A lot of relationships are also the result of trauma bonding. I’ve noticed that a lot of stuff people were able to muddle through, but never really addressed comes to ahead in your late 30s, 40s. Then there’s also people who only stay together for the kids, so you got a figure that’s 18+ years right there depending on how many small humans they create. @Mellowgirl

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@WhateverWorks Yea i think I was just waiting for him to make his mind up.
He was here and I wanted him but he was still wanting to be a young man. Which was incredibly unfair. So he subjected me to really unkind treatment simply because he wanted to me to wait.
I was focusing on other things. But he also messed with that I think he believed if I became to independent I'd walk away but he left me no choice.
He was cruel. And I hope to god to never experience that again.

No little humans thank goodness.
I would have really struggled if that happened...
And I think he would have done everything in his power to prevent me leaving.

WhateverWorks · 36-40

I don’t know this person so I don’t want to make any sort of assumptions about why he behaved the way he did. I will say that there is a huge difference between things like a desire to have rich and meaningful experiences, get out there and enjoy life again that we associate with youth I compared to just.. being selfish and destructive. I know lots of people who are youthful, but don’t act like a bull in a china shop with their choices or expect other people to just.. endure being hurt @Mellowgirl

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@WhateverWorks unfortunately my peers are trying to be billionaires and although I admire people having ambitions. It's not a personal goal of mine.
I want the regular life decent job one or two holidays a year. A car. And a couple of kids.

The bills will always be paid if we work together.
You know. But theres too much of this is mine and that's yours nonsense.
So I'm keeping my ass quiet for a while.

Ive encountered rude people. That make assumptions about me.
With statements like "I'm not current"
And "I'm not relevant" because I'm not posting my life on social media.

The good guys seem to have been taken young or in hiding like me. Lol.