I miss going to church, luckily I have the internet but it's not like the real deal..

I was in Antigua on our last day on vacation, when I got the fragrance of life that no psychic shall harm me? I didn't know what that meant? On our plane ride home I felt stigmata in both of my hands both feet and a band across my chest like pressure... I knew it was the wounds of Jesus Christ in my own body.. I ended up at my doctors office and behind the main desk there was a wall, I collapsed in front of the desk, and a woman's lying voice said she's faking!!! I wasn't I went to the Hospital at the ER and they did an ECG on me and I felt a warm peace beyond anything I've ever felt before, then they lifted me up and put me in a wheel chair and hooked me up to an IV... That is when I heard the first false prophet psychic attack upon my life to the doctors accusing me of all sorts of disgusting evil!! Dragging my good name through the mud!!! The undercovers had nothing left on me so they hired false prophet psychics to harass me to this day!!! They've even followed me to the church and told the pastor half truths and lies!! When I walked passed him I heard what she said in passing and saw the look in his eyes!!! I didn't catch on until later, and he told me to leave my problems at the door!!! Like seriously how can I attend church while satans army followed me there to tell the leaders that I don't know how to love????!!!!! Nasty!!! Liars!!!! I love the church but I felt like I had to protect them, because I saw the flock scattered and I lost 3 pastors they all moved away in like 3 months1 prophet of God move back to Africa and dear friends women take up inappropriate pastoral leadership in the church it broke my heart, and I felt like it was all my fault for being there!! Because trouble follows me from undercovers to their psychics... Like why??? Because I have schizoaffective disorder? Because I am born again and God has me in His hands? Because God shines his light exposing our lives in movies? For all to see, so might as well let the enemy have his say too? As the wheat is planted so are the weeds?? I get it, Thy will be done ABBA Father! You are the one who set this whole thing up to separate the wheat from the weeds and it's a constant battle and few are the workers! And satan isn't hiding, nor is he giving up on me, I too need Jesus more than ever during these trials and tribulations, I can't do it alone, in Him I know He has given me His Innocents that in itself really helps me to forgive myself... And not care what demons of people think, but what God Almighty thinks! I would really just love to find a church that accepts me and can overcome the undercovers and their false prophets. That we can overcome their trials accusations, and hate!! And accept me for who I am in Christ as one of His own!!!