What made you leave your religion?

I won't say what nomination I came from. I was in it from birth. Its all I ever knew at the time. Thinking back I don't think I actually believe in it. It was just something we were suppose to do, something we were taught. Sort of how like we were taught about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. But with religion there were no other modes of thought presented to me. I didn't get out much, I was homeschooled, no friends. I had many questions for years that no one could answer and I wasn't well educated enough to articulate my thoughts and neither could I go to my parents about it. I was scolded by our preacher for things such as masturbation. He told me I was essentially violating girls in my mind. Thats a horrible thing to tell a teenager. I finally had a chance to go back to public school. It was there I started learning hard lessons in life but they helped me to grow. I began questioning more and more, slowly doubting my "faith". Waiting for answer from God but it never came. It wasn't until my first and best friend essentially betrayed me and relinquished our friendship. According to him he was plague with nightmares and became distraught over them. He assumed it was a message from God that he is living a sinful life and that he must changed his ways. He cursed everything he had a passion for. He was into video games, horror movies, and metal. None of which was inherently evil and neither did any of it exhibit evil, he was just overreacting. And he said to me that God came first in his life, that it didn't matter if I stayed or went away, as long as he had God, his life was rich. I didn't know how to handle that, I was devastated. Before that conversation he was already distancing himself from me. I decided to walk away and not once did we ever speak again. Not once did he ever make amends and rekindle our friendship. I cursed God and religion for taking away my friend. I went to a preacher in another branch shortly after. My father forced me. He was angry with me that I wouldn't attend church. He attempted to force an explanation out of me in my bedroom before hand. We sat there in awkward silence for what felt like hours. I refused to speak or even look at him. What could he possibly understand? We never had your typical father son bond. He was more like landlord or roommate to me. I never really felt an emotional connection with him. So he made me speak with the preacher and promised to drop the issue if I spoke with him, so I did. I was in there for probably 2 or 3 hours pouring my soul out. I don't remember what was said and I don't think the preacher said anything convincing enough for me to come back. He certainly did not have the answers I sought. And that was the last time I ever stepped inside of a church. No one from my church ever sought me out. The people whom I thought were my friends never called me or asked about me. I was easily forgotten. I was 18 at the time when I finally left. I burned both my bibles without regret. And for 14 years I have never looked back. For a long time I hated and cursed God and religion. The hate eventually turned into skepticism. I became a skeptic in many different forms, learning to question everything I've ever been told and never taking anything at face value. It wasn't until college when I took a philosophy class when I started asking the big questions and trying to find answers. I spoke with many Christians but they all gave the same archaic and empty answers. No foundation or evidence for their positions of faith. I decided I was an atheist. Nobody could give me a straight answer so I thought to myself how can something like God and the afterlife possibly exist if there is no explanation for it? How can people believe in something based purely on faith? A system of belief that is literally based on lack of evidence, don't believe me, look up the definition. I wasn't terribly fond of bible thumping Christians for a very long time and actively avoided them. It made me extremely uncomfortable and even angry sometimes. To this day I still search for answers. Not necessarily about God but what is the meaning of life? Is there a meaning? Is there a purpose? What is my purpose? And I fell into an existential crisis that was the basis of my depression and anxiety for many years all through college and after. In some ways I am still depressed and anxious about the future and my purpose but I have decided to work harder to achieve my goal. I have little to no direction on where I should go but I am still trying.