I Can Only Imagine
MercyMe released their hit song, ‘I Can Only Imagine’ in 1999. I was about 16/17 at the time, and like most teenagers I was only about church and God because my family would make me go. Let’s fast forward to 2018 when they released the movie with the same title, telling the lead singer’s story about how the song came about. Now, I’m already a pretty emotional guy. I have no problem showing emotion and crying at movies or songs or because I see something beautiful. But the first time I watched this movie, really took the time to listen to this song and understand it, I probably cried through half the movie. That’s not an exaggeration, and I wish I knew I was going to do it because I ran out of tissues.
I, like many other people have dealt with a lot of trauma in my life and childhood and have carried it all thru life. I am trying to deal with it and learn to live with it and heal from it, but it’s not always so easy. I always think I can do things on my own or I have a better way of doing it. It’s now 2024, almost 2025 and things don’t seem to be going how I want them to. So what now?
Well, one of those nights when I couldn’t sleep was two nights ago. On Amazon Prime, they’ll keep playing movies or shows after the one you were watching ends. It was 2:48am, and I just had the tv on in the background and was listening to music. I happened to look up at the tv and watched it for a couple mins and realized it was the movie ‘I Can Only Imagine’. I turned off the music, turned up the tv and started watching again. And again, I cried through probably half of the movie or more. But this time, it did something to me. Something said, the answer is easy and it will help me deal with the issues I’m having. I got down on my knees and prayed to God. I have prayed many times in my life, but this was different and I felt it. I asked God to please help me, as I have nowhere else to turn. I cried to him to help me, as I don’t know how much more I can take.
People will say the answer has always been there in front of me and I could have saved myself a lot of trouble. But maybe I had to go through all of that for a reason. Everyone has a different path to walk in life. Well, I’m tired of being a tortured soul. I’m giving it all to God and I’m going to let him show me the way from now on. I’m not going to proclaim I’m reborn or something, as I have always believed in God. The difference is that now I’m making the choice to put him first in my life.
It’s early on, so I’ll update in some months and let you know how different things are since putting God first in my life and living a life lead by his love and example. If anyone else has had similar situation or would like to share a story of doing the same thing, let me know. I’d love to hear more stories about redemption and finding your way back!
I, like many other people have dealt with a lot of trauma in my life and childhood and have carried it all thru life. I am trying to deal with it and learn to live with it and heal from it, but it’s not always so easy. I always think I can do things on my own or I have a better way of doing it. It’s now 2024, almost 2025 and things don’t seem to be going how I want them to. So what now?
Well, one of those nights when I couldn’t sleep was two nights ago. On Amazon Prime, they’ll keep playing movies or shows after the one you were watching ends. It was 2:48am, and I just had the tv on in the background and was listening to music. I happened to look up at the tv and watched it for a couple mins and realized it was the movie ‘I Can Only Imagine’. I turned off the music, turned up the tv and started watching again. And again, I cried through probably half of the movie or more. But this time, it did something to me. Something said, the answer is easy and it will help me deal with the issues I’m having. I got down on my knees and prayed to God. I have prayed many times in my life, but this was different and I felt it. I asked God to please help me, as I have nowhere else to turn. I cried to him to help me, as I don’t know how much more I can take.
People will say the answer has always been there in front of me and I could have saved myself a lot of trouble. But maybe I had to go through all of that for a reason. Everyone has a different path to walk in life. Well, I’m tired of being a tortured soul. I’m giving it all to God and I’m going to let him show me the way from now on. I’m not going to proclaim I’m reborn or something, as I have always believed in God. The difference is that now I’m making the choice to put him first in my life.
It’s early on, so I’ll update in some months and let you know how different things are since putting God first in my life and living a life lead by his love and example. If anyone else has had similar situation or would like to share a story of doing the same thing, let me know. I’d love to hear more stories about redemption and finding your way back!
41-45, MNew
