Im suffering big time from addiction at the moment

I was free from addiction for years and years and I'm right in the thick of it now . I'm praying praying and praying and it too overwhelming to my mind and when it comes into my mind I go right back into addiction and it's not just one addiction at the moment it's 2 or 3 .
My f*****g mind is over taken with the addictions at the moment .
Its frightening the way I dive right into addiction .
I just keep on harming myself going back to addictions .
It brings up fierce shame especially being free from addiction for years .