I Love Slutty Wives That Likes To Cheat On Their Husband

If you knew and were ok with it, then it's not cheating.
If she did it and kept it a secret, then yes it is cheating.

It was a time of mixed emotions.

Did you ask her to do it or did she ask you to watch?

To your original question: If it wasn't a secret and you agreed, then it wasn't cheating.

I suppose if you knew and agreed, there could still be intense emotions. When I found out about my ex-wife cheating, it was already over. She had made up her mind that she wanted to live alone. All that was left was for me to find out. So yes, there was very intense, mixed emotions.

Are you in a better place now?

I didn't ask her to do it. It happened at a party and she didn't know I saw her. It was only a brief glimpse that I got.

Then yes it was definitely cheating. It can also explain how you might have gotten an erotic reaction to it.

If I may ask, did you ever bring it up to her to discuss maybe doing something with that?

It came up during a night of admissions on both our parts.

So even though it was a turn on for you, it wasn't something that you/her wanted to explore together? When we talked, my ex had already made up her mind and she didn't want to explore other options - she just wanted out.

I'm not sure it would have been a turn on for me.

We did some exploration with it during our separation. We had a weird situation.

But if you didn't want to divorce, at least you can say you tried.

If I may ask, did she want you to explore while cross dressed; and was it to participate or just watch?

She wanted me to dress or she let me dress. I was able to watch and I had some participation.

There's a huge difference between 'wanted me to dress' and 'she let me dress.' If you were moving towards cross dressing and she wasn't fulfilled by that and wanted a "man;" then there probably wasn't anything you could have done to stop it I guess. Especially given your 'I cross dress and suck' post. Mixed emotions to say the least... it must have been a very difficult time.

It was because while I loved her and admired her beauty, I had no interest in pleasing her. However, the thought of her with a man was powerful for me.

So was she reluctantly pushed away from you? If you had no interest in pleasing here, then not surprising you found her at the party. (Did she act differently the rest of the night, or just "normal"?)

I guess then her having you with her and other man was her way of trying to keep you in some fashion? Maybe if you both discussed it earlier there might have been some agreement/arrangement for you both to fulfill your needs?

She was quiet after the party.

Did you suspect you saw her, or just feeling guilty?

I think it was the guilt. She was lively at the party.

I think it was the guilt. She was lively at the party.