I Want to Love Passionately and to Be Loved Passionately

in what way did it alter you...

I'm no longer as positive or idealistic as I used to be. I've become more realistic, even cynical in some ways. I no longer believe in love or happily ever afters or dreams coming true, at least not for me. I don't want to be cynical so I'm trying to get back to my happy, positive self, but the last couple of years have been really hard dealing with a shattered heart. My confidence and self esteem took major hits, and that was difficult for me because I've always been a strong, confident person. It's been like clawing my way out of a deep well of sadness, but I'm starting to feel the light again and see shades of my former self return.

@ChampagneOnIce: I do comprehend...and can relate totally....it took me many years to extra ate myself from a given hole....it was very deep and very dark...with much pain...

I'd love to hear your tale if you would like to share with me....

I'm sorry you've been there. I wish you hadn't. It's very painful and exhausting, and I battled with depression. I'm on the other side now, thankfully. Healing and getting myself back piece by piece. I appreciate you offering to listen, but I don't want to dredge it up anymore. I just want to move on and find peace.

@ChampagneOnIce: smiling....there is a point where we find it no longer helps to dredge up the past...sometimes though the easier it becomes...

when I was ten years old I had a viral infection that damaged sight and hearing nerves...and also balance....while I did learn to walk talk eat and drink again I knew that no one would really love me in this broken state I was in.

I have experienced love a few times but for some reason it never sustains the distance through time and space. Once I thought I was truly there and that crashed in a big way and hurt so deeply I was a wreck for years...consequence love stories were overhung with this heartbreak....

the most iomportant thing is to feel your own worth deep inside you...know that this is the person you are...an amazing creation that can love with all the passion of your soul...if someone can not reciprocate that love in full then it really is not the powerful match that it should be...the chemistry and soulbinding is not quite present....

I do believe in the pwer of two hearts combining...but it has to be just right and this rightness is very rare....some people settle while others travel forever in search of the whole and nothing but the whole passion....