Not my typical wish

I want to be honest about something, and I don't know if I'm wrong for feeling this way. Sometimes, I genuinely find myself wishing that my partner would meet another woman, someone he could fall in love with and become obsessed with, so that he would finally let me go.

I want out of this relationship, but leaving isn't as simple as walking away. He has suicidal tendencies and has made threats that make me afraid of what might happen if I leave. He once told me that he would kill me if he ever found out I was with another man.
I sometimes think that if he found someone else, he might finally lose his grip on me and agree to peacefully co-parent our children. Maybe then we could both move on and live our lives separately.

The saddest part is that it feels like we've reached a point where we no longer love each other the way we used to. It seems like we're both unhappy, perhaps even resentful of each other, yet he refuses to let me go.
His obsession has become suffocating. I feel trapped in a relationship I no longer want to be in, constantly wishing for an escape but terrified of what might happen if I try to leave.

I don't wish for another woman because I want to hurt him. I just wish there were a way for him to let me go without making me pay for wanting my freedom.