I kinda just want to disappear somewhere.

I haven’t been married that long but I hate that I already want to call it quits. My cognitive function as well as my vision has been declining drastically and has left me in undesirable interactions. This one misunderstanding at self checkout and the way she talked to me had me wanting to off myself. This was back in January the feeling never exactly left. Ever since then I keep being shown a side of her that has me questioning if I should even stay married to her. After my aunt died her immediate reaction was “we have planes we had trains, I’m sorry but I won’t be able to go with you.” I was thrown off completely at the fact that my own spouse would even start off a sentence with that to somebody who just learned that their relative died. Had i made the trip back to my home state by myself I wouldn’t have come back. I was able to actually convince her to come with me but, just being around her left a bad taste in my mouth after all that. Then there’s the fact that I can’t get her to help with the cleaning. I work two jobs and still do most of the cleaning while all she does is play video games. What’s eating me the most is that recently my cat died, and I’ve barely even had time to grieve. The day after my cat died I was harassed for no reason other than my skin color. I had slurs yelled at me as I was on my way to the park to clear my head. I make a post about it, my knew what happened but never bothered to check up on me, no call no message, just her playing stardew valley. I actually believe she may care more about the fact that my cat died than my actual safety. I’ve never felt safe living in this town, I rarely felt safe with my wife’s family, I don’t even feel like I matter in my own marriage.