Sexless marriages are often the reasons for disturbed bedrooms in the later years of partnership..

@VeronicaJane sometimes things and consents are neither seeked not given but unsaid

@longhairedcougar Clear as mud. Geez. Excuses.

@longhairedcougar so in other words, you think he implied consent and that you are free to see other men.

@longhairedcougar if you have needs that are not being satisfied, sounds like time for frank discussion with hubby about having them met. That might mean hubby goes to see the Dr for some little blue pills. Or maybe that means hubby is not able and agrees for you to seek satisfaction elsewhere, within agreed upon boundaries. Maybe that means opening the relationship or divorce.

But to seek satisfaction behind his back is simply selfish cheating. My ex apparently operated under the premise that "what you don't know, won't hurt you...." However the rest of it is 'until you find out, then it is a *itch!' I eventually found out and it was a *itch. We couldn't come to an agreement, so we divorced; which actually was the best thing for me. I found someone else, and it has been a wonderful relationship (even with ups and downs).

@VeronicaJane bless you ❤️

@VeronicaJane Unmet sexual needs can destroy a relationship. Even when discussed previous to any commitment, people can change their minds. They can lie even. Sexless marriages cause mental illnesses, physical ailments, depression, etc. That is why they rarely are satisfying especially including the fact that nearly all humans need physical touch and intimacy. They are part of a healthy marriage. Still far too many settle in sexless unions because they have put in time. That is foolish. Then it becomes decades of waiting for one in the partnership to die so the other can have freedom and sex and intimacy with someone else. That is a long prison sentence. Many also fear being alone or cast out into the world to discover a brand new life. I am glad you are free and happier now.

@PoetryNEmotion I don't disagree that unmet sexual needs can destroy a relationship. However for a married person to get satisfaction behind their spouses back can also can destroy a relationship.

Of course people can change their minds. An example of that would be couples that after several years decide to open their relationships, when they didn't think they would do so originally.

If a relationship is at the crossroads, then open and frank discussion is needed. Maybe they decide to divorce. Maybe they decide to open their marriage. Maybe they may even decide to agree with one spouse seeking satisfaction elsewhere. The point is that it is honest, and not sneaking behind the other person's back.

@VeronicaJane Cheating is cheating. That is a deal breaker for me. I meant agreeing to have so many kids and then stopping at one. Not a mutual agreement. Why get married if you want an open marriage? Just be single. Intimacy is part of marriage. Vital.