KW001 · 56-60, F
What you tell her about seems to be a very good basis. Somethings need to develop, and that might take a little time. You told me here you can last together. You can talk together. Give it a chance and give it some time. I don’t say give him some time Because I think you are the one who needs some time. Take it.
hartfire · 61-69
I would tread carefully.
Some narcissists use intimacy as a tool of manipulation.
It's aimed at emotionally hooking a partnerm and fades as soon as they see evidence that the hook has sunk and stuck deep.
On the other hand, your shared values and mutual love of sharing deeply could be genuine and among the best reasons for lifelong commitment to each other.
~ ~ ~
When he says something that triggers a cringe in you, it might be useful to ask him what he means.
Maybe keep a diary of your coat it's always fresh in your memory and conversations, written at the end of the day they happen so it's alway fresh in your memory, accurate and honest. (or secretly record them on your phone, so you can play them back and examine them closely). Or a combination of the two.
Think about each moment of cringe. Does it remind you of any time you cringed in your childhood. What was that earlier occasion?
Do the moments of cringe have anything in common?
Sometimes that inner feeling of a cringe can be a sign that something he says is repugnant to you. It might be a difference in some of your values or preferences.
~ ~ ~
Some differences are unimportant and a person has a right to values and preferences so long as they never harm others.
Others, such greed, racism, callousness, sadism, dishonesty, arrogance, wilful ignorance, etc, can be huge red flags. If it's one of these, it's best to cut ties gently and politely, and not see him again. Keep yourself free so can find someone you really feel right with.
Some narcissists use intimacy as a tool of manipulation.
It's aimed at emotionally hooking a partnerm and fades as soon as they see evidence that the hook has sunk and stuck deep.
On the other hand, your shared values and mutual love of sharing deeply could be genuine and among the best reasons for lifelong commitment to each other.
~ ~ ~
When he says something that triggers a cringe in you, it might be useful to ask him what he means.
Maybe keep a diary of your coat it's always fresh in your memory and conversations, written at the end of the day they happen so it's alway fresh in your memory, accurate and honest. (or secretly record them on your phone, so you can play them back and examine them closely). Or a combination of the two.
Think about each moment of cringe. Does it remind you of any time you cringed in your childhood. What was that earlier occasion?
Do the moments of cringe have anything in common?
Sometimes that inner feeling of a cringe can be a sign that something he says is repugnant to you. It might be a difference in some of your values or preferences.
~ ~ ~
Some differences are unimportant and a person has a right to values and preferences so long as they never harm others.
Others, such greed, racism, callousness, sadism, dishonesty, arrogance, wilful ignorance, etc, can be huge red flags. If it's one of these, it's best to cut ties gently and politely, and not see him again. Keep yourself free so can find someone you really feel right with.
Sunnyday · 51-55, F
Honestly, if you’re already feeling this way about him, it’s probably best not to let things go too far. He’s not going to change how he is or how he talks, and even if he tried, it wouldn’t be sustainable. I promise it’ll end up bothering you more than you think, and if you get into a relationship, you might unintentionally hurt him or make him feel insecure. I’ve been there, trust me.
phoenixrising · M
It could be he might be nervous too. Maybe you might be his first relationship and he is going about impressing you in all the wrong ways. Give it time, things might change. Just have faith, keep reading the signals. If things stay the same, I would let it be. You don't owe each other anything
updown2020 · 61-69, M
oogirl · 13-15, F
What cringe things does he say or do?
MayorOfCrushtown · M
there are different levels of cringy no doubt. LOL
