Move on.

It's not cheating. At some point this guy meant a lot to you, so it's normal to wonder about his welfare. However, look at the severely negative effect he has on you, even when you anonymously check up on him. You have to consider that his behaviour in your previous relationship resulted in you becoming reliant on his love, you admitted he manipulated you, so I think your need to check on him is a symptom of the original manipulative behaviour from him. Go back to blocking him, concentrate on your actual boyfriend. You're inviting that toxicity back into your life and you'll ruin your current relationship.

you shouldn't feel selfish, and its not cheating unless you are back together with him and your current bf dosent know, this is normal, you are just curious about him and how hes doing, i was shocked reading this because im going through the same exact thing, just if you start thinking about this breathe, does your current bf now this is going on? i would suggrst telling him

Guilt is how those people operate.
Knowingly or not he guilted you into staying too long.
These people are everywhere and take no responsibility for how they make those closest to them feel.

Understand that there's nothing he could say or do to even apologise for that kind of behaviour let alone attempt to make up for the pain and anguish it caused you and maybe even those who came before you.

Leave well alone

You need to block him and forget him. His issues should not become yours, and you have neither the need nor the right to take his issues on as a burden to you. The relationship was obviously toxic. Everyone deserves better than that.

As long as you don’t hook up with him then it’s not cheating. I think you are just a caring girl trying to look out for someone you think is hurt. However you do need to be careful because your ex will just see it as a way to pump and dump

Block him again. Immediately

So what