What would you like to see and/or hear in this situation?

Me and my boyfriend of almost three years are having a baby and are currently going through a bad time. Over the years we have had an on-off relationship due to him being avoidant and me being anxious. very much push and pull. We gave each other a month break which originally was going to be a permanent break but we ended up missing each other and deciding to try again. Not long after we conceived what is now a 2 month old fetus.
We started fighting a lot more when he moved in and in my eyes I saw it as I was being neglected. In reality I was so stressed and overthinking that I wasn’t appreciating what he was doing. He was helping around the house a lot and I would thank him but i would still find something to complain about. He was always the one leaving the relationship because he didn’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to fight either, there’s clearly something I need to work on. That i a working on.
We talked days after a big fight and he decided he no longer wanted a relationship with me because he didn’t believe things would get better for us. But that he will be there for the child. I asked to have lunch with him tomorrow because i really want to do something about this. He hasn’t moved out yet but i know it might come soon.
I’m so scared of losing him. He’s my best friend and i love him so much. I hate myself and my poor choices. What would you want from me if this was you? What do you guys think I should or could do to try and salvage our relationship? I know in the end I can’t make him do anything. I’m just looking for something I can do to show him how much he means to me and in hopes of repairing this

WhateverWorks · 36-40

Couples counseling to work on rebuilding the friendship, improving communication, working on seeing each others’ perspectives, and better teamwork. Aldo offering to see your own counselor to work through your issues. He should be seeing a counselor too, but you can’t control that. All you can do is handle your end.

Here’s the thing though.. right now you’re afraid of losing him and you’re aware there’s a baby on the way. To cope with that you may be rationalizing that you’re the problem that needs to be fixed and you’re the reason the relationship isn’t working. I’m sure it’s a two way street though. A good relationship takes more than him helping out around the house. If you’re complaining s lot there’s probably some things in there worth addressing, not suppressing in hopes it’ll persuade him to stay.

I know it’s hard not to hyper-focus on the relationship with this person right now, but that energy really needs to go into taking care of yourself and getting a foundation established so that you (and the baby) can still thrive without him.

being · 36-40, F

My heart is with you... being in this everchanging place that is a pregnancy, you are going through a lot already. Be easy with yourself.
No matter how you are taking the blame, a man knowing his woman carrying their child must also be aware that during this time, so many changes are happening affecting the mood and feelings of the mother. I wonder how much you two are aware of this.

It's a difficult moment and you could use all the support you could possibly have. I understand there might be tension but I think of the guy as a coward and I'm sorry but I had to say it. Leaving you on your 2nd month of pregnancy.

I wonder why none mention this in the comments. Anyways, it's a difficult moment as I wrote... take care of yourself as much as you can and look for support. Your parents, some relative or friend.... enjoy the beautiful journey that pregnancy is and don't let any guy take that away from you.
If he can't be supportive and there for you, he'd better not be there. It's tough. Hugs..🤗

Ontheroad · M

If he is at all interested in trying to save the relationship, then offer the thought of joint relationship counseling, plus that you will get individual counseling.