A Serious Question

A LONG time ago before i learned to be a person in a stable relationship, or at least someone in a relationship that is transparent where the other person encourages etc

I can only speak for myself and why i personally used to cheat.
i had an extremely bad rampant sexual addiction and am a person who has bipolar disorder with a symptom of extreme hypersexuality as well. My mental health was untreated for years and i was extremely distrusting of those in the mental health profession for a long time. These things are NOT the norm for everyone so people claiming to be a "nympho, or a sex addict" but their lives are just fine and that's why they cheat are on some bullshit.


Could i have tried much harder to control myself? Yes. But was it extremely hard to fight the urges that basically controlled my daily and hourly existence? Honestly yes. it was one of the hardest things to stop. But the way i did was putting myself in the position of the person i was hurting by doing it. Picturing their face finding out... picturing that hurt and devastation from me who they cared for. I couldn't keep doing that to people i genuinely loved so i had to learn to control myself and get some help.

Sexual Addiction is NOT glamorous and wonderful like people think it is. It fucks up so much of your life.

Because they can.

Because they enjoy it.

Because humans are genetically predisposed to it. We are socially monogamous, but not sexually monogamous. We will pair bond to raise our children which is being socially monogamous, but that doesn't mean that we necessarily pair bond with that person sexually. Which means that we will still seek out multiple partners for sex. This may be why a lot of people's relationships have "evolved" into wife sharing and open marriages.

Here's a pretty simple explanation...
Humans are socially monogamous rather than strictly or sexually monogamous. This means we tend to pair-bond and raise children as a team, but we also retain biological and behavioral tendencies toward extra-pair desires and serial relationships.

Experts in anthropology and evolutionary biology view human mating patterns as a flexible strategy shaped by both biology and culture.

In other words, sexual monogamy has been "forced" upon us by society, morals, ethics and ideology!!

I asked a guy I knew who did. He said, "Because at the end of the day I get to enjoy something different." He was a serial cheater.

I had a friend who cheated a lot. He was a sex addict. But there are some who do it because they're with someone nice. However, they're not getting what they want from that partner. I knew guys like that too. I myself have never cheated. So I can only go off what I know from people I hung around with.

Ester Petel sums up the causes very nicely in her book: Mating In Captivity.


We trade wildness and passion for security and predictability... Ernie

Because they are faulty...

Mostly it’s bc an opportunity presents itself

Lack of communication with their partners mostly.

Entitlement, selfishness, they have no concept of empathy in terms of the suffering that causes.
But those are just words. They cheat because they think they won't get caught. That's all.