Chiara is asleep and I’m making notes to talk with my father about

I’m ashamed to say that I remember that Edoardo had told me about his business plans for after what should have been the fortnight of our honeymoon and this is probably what is behind his going missing. However, I don’t remember his saying it was going to take two months!

I don’t know what happened with him after he had seen me back at home and struggling with what had happened to me, and I remember seeing him look at me rather like an injured child who had received a terrible treatment from a parent and was still pained by his realisations.

I had thought Edoardo was the loyal type that would go through hell for you and with you, but I see that my thinking was flawed and thankfully we were not married before I found this out! The obvious betrayal of promises is not as affecting for Chiara as it could have been. What it does to her understanding of whether or not she sees men as reliable or not is my main concern.

She’s asleep without a sheet over her, as she often is at home. Like me, as long as the part of out body in contact with the bed is warm, and if we roll over we do so without feeling cold we can cope with our complete nudity and absence of warm covers. Chiara did bring her favourite cuddly toy 🧸 with her, a lasting childhood companion and reassurance that I thought she might grow out of. He usually ends up on the floor anyway when we’re asleep together.

I’m not sure if I should call my parents after church tomorrow, but I think I should try to get to sleep now.