A question about the one that got away for you....

@Ilovestars That's an interesting perspective. Lately, I've been in the "You're fine the way you are" group. I know participation trophies are sort of taboo now, but to me, the idea is to participate, not always to win....

@originnone I absolutely think we should love ourselves the way we are but I also believe that we should try every day to make ourselves a better version. There is a difference between trying to “win” and pushing myself to improve everyday. I think that applies in relationships as well. Your partner should help and give you the support to improve your life where you would like to see improvement. So in the case of my “one who got away”, they have lived in a way where they don’t allow anyone in anymore to help them succeed in life. It’s something I’ve heard them complain about and firmly believe that if we had stayed together (even though that’s not what I would want now) that his life would have taken a much different path with more success and fulfillment as I would have been there to support him in the places he would have liked to improve over the years. I believe in loving yourself the way you are but also wanting to improve day by day. The concepts are synonymous, if you truly love yourself, you’d want the best for yourself and that’s the same when you truly love your partner.

@Ilovestars I probably thought that until my wife's health went bad. Now I just want to make sure she's happy.