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Journaling4MeAgain · 56-60, F
I only cheated on my Husband one time (one-night stand). I don't have reasons, only excuses. We had our first child when I was 18. While I was in the hospital after her birth, my supposed best friend got my Husband drunk and he slept with her. She had only become my friend because, as she confessed to me later, she had a crush on my Husband. I couldn't get over this. 😔
My Husband's supposed best friend took advantage of the situation because he had always had a crush on me. It took a full year of him telling me how he would have never done such a thing to me, and how I was the most wonderful(insert whatever positive flattery here you wish) before, after fighting with my Husband one night, I gave in and slept with my Husband's supposed best friend. This was almost 40 years ago.😔
There were terrible consequences to both our cheating. My Husband and his supposed best friend had slept with my supposed best friend, and she had an STD. Of course, I got it too, and in the end, this was part of what led to my hysterectomy at 21. There were other causes of this as well, though.😔
I also got pregnant, and I don't know who the biological father was. My son's father is my Husband. He chose to be his father no matter what, and when my son was 18, we told him the truth, and he decided he only wanted my Husband to be Dad.❤
I also had an emotional affair on EP 20 plus years back, because my Husband was addicted to porn, and I felt worthless and neglected because of this.. I found solace in the words of another online. This hurt my Husband deeply, so I ended the affair, and I have never even thought about doing this again. Even though it took my Husband more than 10 years to get over his porn addiction. 😔
There are no good reasons to cheat...No, not one. It is not a victimless crime.😔
My Husband's supposed best friend took advantage of the situation because he had always had a crush on me. It took a full year of him telling me how he would have never done such a thing to me, and how I was the most wonderful(insert whatever positive flattery here you wish) before, after fighting with my Husband one night, I gave in and slept with my Husband's supposed best friend. This was almost 40 years ago.😔
There were terrible consequences to both our cheating. My Husband and his supposed best friend had slept with my supposed best friend, and she had an STD. Of course, I got it too, and in the end, this was part of what led to my hysterectomy at 21. There were other causes of this as well, though.😔
I also got pregnant, and I don't know who the biological father was. My son's father is my Husband. He chose to be his father no matter what, and when my son was 18, we told him the truth, and he decided he only wanted my Husband to be Dad.❤
I also had an emotional affair on EP 20 plus years back, because my Husband was addicted to porn, and I felt worthless and neglected because of this.. I found solace in the words of another online. This hurt my Husband deeply, so I ended the affair, and I have never even thought about doing this again. Even though it took my Husband more than 10 years to get over his porn addiction. 😔
There are no good reasons to cheat...No, not one. It is not a victimless crime.😔
Journaling4MeAgain · 56-60, F
@Northwest Northwest, Why wouldn't we stay married? We have forgiven each other. Everyone makes mistakes. We love each other with all of our hearts. We were both very young when these mistakes were made. 🤷♀
I know people claim you can't forgive cheating, but we were able to. It took a very long time to forgive each other, but our love was strong enough to see us through. This is 45 years for us, and we will be together until death do us part. A lifetime commitment means that you forgive each other and work through whatever comes up, no matter how bad it is. 🙂
I know most people nowadays just walk away, but that isn't what we wanted.❤
Also, we adopted 4 of our grandchildren, and the youngest just became an adult. What would have happened to them if we had given up on each other? They would have been put into foster care. Our marriage has never been just about us. So, this is the short answer to why we continue to stay married.🙂
One more truth. The longer you stay together, the more you work through hard times, the deeper love grows, and the stronger your marriage gets. It has been over 20 years since I have done anything wrong, and 40 years since we had physical affairs, so that saying once a cheater, always a cheater is wrong. It is just a justification to walk away.🤔
I thank you for your reply to my comment. You have given me the chance to explain something I am sure many wonder about, and to share a little something about myself. I hope this has helped you gain some understanding of why we continue to stay married. 🙂
I know people claim you can't forgive cheating, but we were able to. It took a very long time to forgive each other, but our love was strong enough to see us through. This is 45 years for us, and we will be together until death do us part. A lifetime commitment means that you forgive each other and work through whatever comes up, no matter how bad it is. 🙂
I know most people nowadays just walk away, but that isn't what we wanted.❤
Also, we adopted 4 of our grandchildren, and the youngest just became an adult. What would have happened to them if we had given up on each other? They would have been put into foster care. Our marriage has never been just about us. So, this is the short answer to why we continue to stay married.🙂
One more truth. The longer you stay together, the more you work through hard times, the deeper love grows, and the stronger your marriage gets. It has been over 20 years since I have done anything wrong, and 40 years since we had physical affairs, so that saying once a cheater, always a cheater is wrong. It is just a justification to walk away.🤔
I thank you for your reply to my comment. You have given me the chance to explain something I am sure many wonder about, and to share a little something about myself. I hope this has helped you gain some understanding of why we continue to stay married. 🙂
Journaling4MeAgain · 56-60, F
@Younameit I am not sure how to respond to your reply to my comment because I am not sure what the picture means, but thank you for replying anyway.🙂
Journaling4MeAgain · 56-60, F
Northwest · M
@Journaling4MeAgain You're assuming that divorce is the same as not wanting to make the effort.
Another way of looking at it, is that the person would be giving their kid(s) a chance to better control their destiny.
It's Monday morning quarterbacking now, but you raised your kids in the same environment that produced two kids for you, before you were out of your teen years, a hysterectomy, STDs, and multiple physical and emotional affairs.
And your kids did the same thing you did, and you're now raising their kids.
I wish you all the luck, but there are other choices that may offer kids better options.
Another way of looking at it, is that the person would be giving their kid(s) a chance to better control their destiny.
It's Monday morning quarterbacking now, but you raised your kids in the same environment that produced two kids for you, before you were out of your teen years, a hysterectomy, STDs, and multiple physical and emotional affairs.
And your kids did the same thing you did, and you're now raising their kids.
I wish you all the luck, but there are other choices that may offer kids better options.
Journaling4MeAgain · 56-60, F
@Northwest Northwest,Actually, you have no idea of what has really happened in my life, based on anything I have added here. You have made many erroneous assumptions and misread much (for example, I had one 1-night stand and 1 emotional affair), but I think we are through here.I have checked your profile, and I can see that I may have made a mistake in unblocking you. I wish you all the luck, too. There are better options than passing judgment on people you don't know.