If my partner believed that all women should be sexually conservative, submissive to men, and confined to lifelong monogamy

I would have stayed single and continued to enjoy my aloneness and running my own uno parties with fireworks.

Policing other people's sexual or intimate choices, as if we all experience desire, connection, and social context in the same way, to me reveals a very limited understanding of human behavior that can affect larger relationships with others I love , and even alienate them.

Their lives are their lives. Not mine.

Having the freedom to be who I am matters deeply to me. And I bet it is the same for everyone else.

The moment someone who wants to be with me turns a personal preference we both love and enjoy, into a universal 'should,' I’m out, especially on a broader, ideological scale. It is terrifying and certainly has in the past made me reject men.

A personal relationship doesn't need to reflect every relationship out there. It just needs to reflect ours. I love what I love because I want to. Not because I have to. And I like that this is exactly what I found eventually. It's rare and it gives me the safety I have always needed for myself and others.

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SW-User

Well I'm sure you can find men to are into what you like, but don't cry when it doesn't work.

Miram · 31-35, F

You are very good at reading.
@SW-User

SUPERVlXEN · F

@Miram
I was going to ask the same but you already did.

SW-User

@Miram what looks like some woke nonsence or polyamorus kinda stuff.

NOS4R2 · 41-45

@SW-User no, its about being AWARE of what one peroanally likes, and not following what others do out of social expectation.And vice versa.
If more people exercised this type of personal inner awarenss, there wouldn't be such discontent for them to spill over with malcontent over wokeness, because there would be no such definitions of standard and non standard.
No ones relationshipal dynamic is anybody's business but their own

SW-User

@NOS4R2 your view is another social expection.

NOS4R2 · 41-45

@SW-User No its not. Its quite logical. Humans do not develop psychologically to any set social standard.
Ergo, theres no logical reason to set any relqtionshipal standard other than proliferation of the species - which we have now surpassed.
There's absolutely no reason to judge others if their relationship works for them.
There's also no reason to judge them since their relationship doesn't affect me and is none of my business.

Its the equivalent of someone complaining that someone else is eating fish for dinner because they personally don't like fish.
Its not their dinner, they're not eating it, they arent even eating at the same table - so its none of their business.

SW-User

@NOS4R2 but they dont work, and people are realizing this.

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NOS4R2 · 41-45

@SW-User the post isn't about work - its about not clicking with someone who has a need to judge others relationships based upon their own preferences.
Your comment is like adding your favorite paint colour to my fish dinner analogy: its inapplicable/ makes no sense

NOS4R2 · 41-45

@SW-User Also, just because you dont understand other's dynamics, doesnt mean they are broken or dysfunctional.
Just as, assuming because something is an 'old institution' guarantees that it is functional.

SW-User

@NOS4R2 ok.... i think i heard enough. The problem is that you people want to wage war on marriage, you know what thats why you have a lot of broken up famalies, and guys arent dating or marrying. So yea a lot of guys wont be cucks or end up paying their income to support some other dude. As a matter a fact any sensible is a feminist take

NOS4R2 · 41-45

@SW-User oh my god. It ISNT ABOUT MARRIAGE either. Its about relationship types and different relationshipal dynamics - but mostly about a partner being judgemental about how others go about their relationship
The fact that you are thinking this is about even more diverse types of relationships such as polyamory and kinks like cuckolding - is all your own projection.

Youve read one thing and put all this extra other meaning into the post that was never there AND NEVER SAID.
and now you're projecting it onto me.

Also, marriage holds no-one together. Love and respect does.

SW-User

@NOS4R2 lady guys arent getting married. 6 out of 1000 are getting married, if men arent falling for the unfair divorce laws. If men arent dating single mothers, I seriously doubt they will want to be cucks in relationship.

NOS4R2 · 41-45

@SW-User No-one has the right to control and dictate another person's life, unless they are the legal carer for that person.
Its law.

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Miram · 31-35, F

@NOS4R2 Thank you for actually reading my thread and not injecting biases to it.

I was indeed solely talking about not being with someone who fixates on policing other people's lives. It is incredibly burdening, toxic, self-sabotaging and indicative in lot of instances that they don't know how to prioritize and understand boundaries in general.

It is also about how content I am to not have to deal with that. Or so I thought /hoped 🤣 You don't have to be in relationship with someone for them to make their problems your problems.

NOS4R2 · 41-45

@Miram its amazing how some people think that their way of life is the ONLY way of life.
Too many people have been made miserable, ostracized and basically abused because a partner tried to force them to live to their own preferences.
You cant change people.
You shouldn't try to
Thank you for specifically acknowledging my reply.
🤗