Can you ever really know your long term partner?

@pdqsailor1 That’s really nice to hear. Not sure I would equate it to my peer group as such. It’s not the majority anyways. Just a cross section

@Notladylike There was a point in our marriage - when WE decided to hold true to the forces that drew us to one another as a couple. This was when we were about your age...

@pdqsailor1 Did you have many rough times?

@Notladylike There was one significant rough patch... I did not want more than the two children we had while her siblings each had three children, she refused to go on birth control and we had multiple scares.. which I found totally unacceptable.. FINALLY .... she was fitted with an IUD and honestly it was the first step in putting us on the path to a successful marriage. The two children we have are five years apart and I was adamant about not wanting any more children. I was over my head in private school tuition and so much so that it was not possible to consider a larger home... so when she accepted to have the IUD... it was like a ton of bricks off my back and finally no more condoms.. it was at that point of trauma and pressure relief that our marriage started to get better.. a LOT better.. we concentrated on raising the two children we had, educating them properly and they now as adults are very successful - we did a good and proper job of it.. and it was incredibly expensive..

@pdqsailor1 It’s comforting to hear that you can get on track after a significant rough patch. I completely understand the pressures of children on a relationship. I imagine it was harder then too if you were the only bread winner. We decided to have one together which was the right move for us. I don’t think our marriage would have survived a second child what with the financial pressures of modern living.

@Notladylike It was aggravated by her Mother who insisted upon private schools for our children and contributed ZERO towards the massive expense.. despite being well able to do so. The IUD was the KEY to restoration of our marriage.. The nurse who assisted its insertion told her that we were now free to have sex immediately and on the drive from the clinic she suggested we go home and try it out.. We negotiated a schedule to start with.. modest - once a week.. Well once a week led to twice a week and twice a week led to three times a week and then this became every other day.. at which point she decided that she wanted to be in control - I mean full control over our intimate life.. I agreed with great trepidation and she then decided that going forward it was going to be every day.. I don't mean sex I mean the whole thing.. and I had concerns.. could I do this every day? Would it get stale or boring? My concerns were misplaced.. so not only did our intimate relationship get dramatically better but this carried forward to every other aspect of our relationship.. respect, tolerance - we never argue I mean EVER.. This active physical relationship has apparent positive implications on our health... It confounds our doctors which is sort of funny... because what we do is extraordinarily rare.. apparently only four percent of couples engage in marital relations on a daily basis and almost NONE do this on a long term basis..