Pathetic case

....sadly I'm still affected by a breakup and I think it's cause we hooked up in between. I tried pulling away and he wanted to be friends especially over the summer. Long story short he now has someone but I'm still in pain.

I think I miss the moments the most. Although he cheated ( at the time I didn't know) he would pay for and accompany me on my gynae visits. Shop with me to various places, etc. I miss having that. Rn my count has gone to 2 as, although I'm an adult, I got intimate with someone briefly after my breakup but that didn't solve anything. I was able to pull away from that person and not speak to them for my safety.

But my ex.... He was my first everything and to this day I still reel from it. I think what hurt the most was knowing he could never say he loved me and would always breakup with me if I would ask if he was still talking to his exes or cheating. He called it not being peaceful and back then I stayed as I had no willpower to fight the urge to stay knowing he cheated.

Now I'm fully single, finally able to block my ex and horribly alone. I'm willing to wait it out but I guess cause of the recent visit with my ex, I'm hurting.