How would you feel if you were 36, and are having to move back in with parents for the 3rd time?

[b]Not my situation[/b], however, said person is a relative. Said person lives with their boyfriend, yet the two of them cannot pay rent month to month? Said person borrows money from Parents and ME, and cannot keep a job. Said person is having to move back home for the 3rd, maybe even fourth time.

I don't understand why this person won't break up with their boyfriend of nearly 10 years, when you obviously can't get anywhere with them. Move on and be with someone who can help you, someone who can at least keep a roof over your head...
What are you gonna do? Get married to your bum boyfriend, and get a house?💁🏾

rant over..

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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

The obvious answer here is to take a viable marketable vocational course at a community college, get a full time career job and move onward in life with or without the boyfriend (hopefully without). But when you suggest this kind of idea to people like this, they have every single reason in the world they can't do this, or at least not now. Sigh. It is frustrating to know, and care, about people who do this to themselves, and they're thoroughly convinced it can be no other way.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@greenmountaingal yea, that is a good plan in theory, but i'm not sure what good community college will do when you have a background. Employers usually don't see past that.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@iamnikki Usually, with legal help, records can be expunged. Also, there are organizations that can help ex-cons get jobs so if she were to get vocational training and coordinate it with such an organization, she could get somewhere. Careful planning with a vocational career counselor at a community college might help in overcoming her background.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@greenmountaingal Right, but I'm sure it costs money to have a record expunged, and money is something she doesn't have, not being funny or anything. She certainly needs to do something. I've wonder if she's tried.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@iamnikki Probably not. It's called "learned helplessness" and It's hard to overcome. While living at her family home, she could work at something, save her money, make some calls, see an attorney and career counselor and take it step by step. But it sounds like she's decided to drift. My guess is her family gives her material help but no emotional support.