I think it works out better if both people are well rounded individuals, so they can be a good team, but also when one is running on fumes the other can pick up the slack for a while without it being an issue. I personally wouldn’t marry someone who isn’t a responsible, well rounded person.
I think, ideally, each person should have savings for an emergency and continue to keep themselves employable, so they’re not trapped. Unless both people have upper-middle class jobs though, it’s unlikely they’d each be able to independently sustain the quality of life they’ve achieved together by pooling their resources/efforts, especially if there are kids or grandparents to care for.
I think cultivating financial security together takes time and overcoming obstacles. If you have family who want to help you out from time to time you’re able to get established much faster. I would surely help my daughter and her spouse out. I love her. I want to do what I can to assure her happiness and prosperity.
