Part 3 of how to have a successful marriage (or save it).
What you are doing in effect, is negotiating. Trying to resolve the problem so both of you can be happy, not just one. And most of all be honest with each other. Don't say you agree, if you don't agree. That's lying and dishonest, which will tear your marriage apart. So love each other enough to try and understand where each of you are coming from, then go from there. Find a solution, that even if it's not perfect, will be perfect for both of you, not just one because that would be selfish. Find a solution that you can both work with and still be happy. If you love each other, you will compromise and you will want the other person to be happy, not just yourself. You can both make suggestions and hear each other out, without interrupting the other person while they are trying to tell you what is bothering them.
This is a very important rule that you must not break! When you're sitting at the table and you ask that person what is wrong, no matter the urge you have to interrupt them, don't do it! Calmly hear them out and allow them the courtesy and respect to say everything they need to say without your interrupting them and then when they are finished, it's your turn to voice your opinion.
Next, ask each other what can you do to resolve this in a way that will benefit you both and make you happy. You see how much easier and thoughtful that is, to do it that way? Doesn't that just make common sense and feel better? There's absolutely no need to yell at each other. None at all. The other person can hear you without your having to raise your voice, I guarantee. When you raise your voice you're being disrespectful and you are creating conflict right off the bat, indicating you want to fight, instead of working things out calmly, as the other person deserves. It also hurts the other person's feelings when you yell at them. You wouldn't yell at your parents or your best friend, so don't yell at the person you say you love. Actions speak louder than words. If you love someone, then show them. I am convinced, that if all married couples would just show their partners respect and not yell at them, but help each other grow and be patient with each other and encourage your partner, you would have very little, if any, divorces in this world. You would really feel loved and cared for. Love does not find fault in your partner, nor LOOK for it. They look for the good things in their partner and encourage them.
If you want your marriage to flourish, little things really do matter, like leaving a love note or note of encouragement on the bathroom mirror or in their car. What seems like minor things, keeps you in love. Marriage needs to be nourished, so it can flourish. Just because you're married doesn't mean the romance should stop. It's even all the more important, so you can fall deeper in love. And don't clam up guys. Your partner needs to hear your love for them. Though your partner knows you love them, that's not the point. If you romance each other before you got married, continue to do that and this will help you grow even closer. When you feel loved and important to your partner, you will stay happy and content.
All these things build a great foundation, but don't forget who put you two together. Your God should be the head of your home. Allow Him to lead and guide in all your decisions, and He will bless your marriage and keep it happy. The family that allows God to be head of their home, just naturally makes them more conscientious of how they treat each other. They'll want to do what is right for the other person.
Part 4 coming up.
This is a very important rule that you must not break! When you're sitting at the table and you ask that person what is wrong, no matter the urge you have to interrupt them, don't do it! Calmly hear them out and allow them the courtesy and respect to say everything they need to say without your interrupting them and then when they are finished, it's your turn to voice your opinion.
Next, ask each other what can you do to resolve this in a way that will benefit you both and make you happy. You see how much easier and thoughtful that is, to do it that way? Doesn't that just make common sense and feel better? There's absolutely no need to yell at each other. None at all. The other person can hear you without your having to raise your voice, I guarantee. When you raise your voice you're being disrespectful and you are creating conflict right off the bat, indicating you want to fight, instead of working things out calmly, as the other person deserves. It also hurts the other person's feelings when you yell at them. You wouldn't yell at your parents or your best friend, so don't yell at the person you say you love. Actions speak louder than words. If you love someone, then show them. I am convinced, that if all married couples would just show their partners respect and not yell at them, but help each other grow and be patient with each other and encourage your partner, you would have very little, if any, divorces in this world. You would really feel loved and cared for. Love does not find fault in your partner, nor LOOK for it. They look for the good things in their partner and encourage them.
If you want your marriage to flourish, little things really do matter, like leaving a love note or note of encouragement on the bathroom mirror or in their car. What seems like minor things, keeps you in love. Marriage needs to be nourished, so it can flourish. Just because you're married doesn't mean the romance should stop. It's even all the more important, so you can fall deeper in love. And don't clam up guys. Your partner needs to hear your love for them. Though your partner knows you love them, that's not the point. If you romance each other before you got married, continue to do that and this will help you grow even closer. When you feel loved and important to your partner, you will stay happy and content.
All these things build a great foundation, but don't forget who put you two together. Your God should be the head of your home. Allow Him to lead and guide in all your decisions, and He will bless your marriage and keep it happy. The family that allows God to be head of their home, just naturally makes them more conscientious of how they treat each other. They'll want to do what is right for the other person.
Part 4 coming up.
