Part 1: How to keep your marriage in tact (or save it).
I think people give up way too easily in the face of a troubled marriage. Whether you are newly married or not, I also believe these suggestions will help a troubled marriage. I'm one that believes marriages can be saved. It's certainly takes two, and God is in the miracle business, so if you're willing to trust Him, that's one more on your side.
What newlyweds go through in the beginning, is perfectly normal. You are going through what they call an "adjustment period". It means that you are still growing and learning about each other, and how a marriage works. It just doesn't come naturally. Everything is new, and living with another person takes adjustments. Contrary to belief, you do not know your partner very well at this stage. You will be learning much more about your partner's needs and dreams, as you go along in the marriage.
I would really like for you to share everything I've written here, with your partner, so you both can grow together. It just can't work with one person learning. You both need to learn this at the same time, unless your partner is just not receptive. I won't be taking sides. Just sharing with you the way a marriage should work. Realizing, there are things we just don't know right up front, when we get married. A long happy life together, is very much possible. I will be sharing with you, what I feel it takes, to have a happy marriage.
When two people are married, it takes both of you to work things out in a way that BOTH shall benefit. It cannot be all one-sided. That will never work, because you are not only one in the flesh...you are one in the spirit. That means you do everything you can, to make this sacred union work. Most of all, I want you both to understand and remember that marriage is a commitment...one you both agreed on. You just don't call it quits, when things go wrong. People who do not work on their marriage through the years or make the necessary adjustments, do not do well and it usually ends up in divorce. However, divorce is not necessary, if you both will be thoughtful of each other, considerate, and compromise when there is a challenge, so you both can benefit and be happy. This way you will not be selfish. COMMUNICATION IS KEY!
When I was married, I got along very, very well with my husband's mother and family. They did not try to interfere with our business or our decisions. That is the only way it can work. God said when we marry, then we are to make our own decisions and not involve any other family members, on either side. Not on your husband's side and not on your side. This will always end up in disaster. You must make your own way and make your own decisions because going behind one's back and consulting with one of the family, is not only disrespectful, it's not right.
You do not need family interfering with your new life. When you visit and have fun, that's a different story, but that's as far as it goes. When you share things with your family behind your spouse's back, that is sneaky and it makes the other person feel like they are not important and also that you are not capable of handling family matters on your own, but you are, and you must handle your own family affairs without friends or family interfering. If you don't, your marriage will not survive. So it is important to get off to a good start in the marriage, by keeping your marriage and personal thoughts ABOUT your marriage, to yourselves.
No matter what, if you have a problem that needs to be resolved, never, never, go to your family for the answer. This is part of growing mature in your marriage. Your affairs are not to be shared with family, because they don't live with you everyday and they don't know each and every thing about what you both do, so they would not be making a fair judgment and being that they are your parents, they would tend to favor one over the other and this cannot be allowed. As marriage partners, you are to solve your own challenges. You cannot go crying to your family, over problems. That will make your family resent your partner and then you have even more problems.
Part 2 will come in the afternoon or early evening. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Meanwhile, this video makes for a very good start in saving OR maintaining your marriage.
What newlyweds go through in the beginning, is perfectly normal. You are going through what they call an "adjustment period". It means that you are still growing and learning about each other, and how a marriage works. It just doesn't come naturally. Everything is new, and living with another person takes adjustments. Contrary to belief, you do not know your partner very well at this stage. You will be learning much more about your partner's needs and dreams, as you go along in the marriage.
I would really like for you to share everything I've written here, with your partner, so you both can grow together. It just can't work with one person learning. You both need to learn this at the same time, unless your partner is just not receptive. I won't be taking sides. Just sharing with you the way a marriage should work. Realizing, there are things we just don't know right up front, when we get married. A long happy life together, is very much possible. I will be sharing with you, what I feel it takes, to have a happy marriage.
When two people are married, it takes both of you to work things out in a way that BOTH shall benefit. It cannot be all one-sided. That will never work, because you are not only one in the flesh...you are one in the spirit. That means you do everything you can, to make this sacred union work. Most of all, I want you both to understand and remember that marriage is a commitment...one you both agreed on. You just don't call it quits, when things go wrong. People who do not work on their marriage through the years or make the necessary adjustments, do not do well and it usually ends up in divorce. However, divorce is not necessary, if you both will be thoughtful of each other, considerate, and compromise when there is a challenge, so you both can benefit and be happy. This way you will not be selfish. COMMUNICATION IS KEY!
When I was married, I got along very, very well with my husband's mother and family. They did not try to interfere with our business or our decisions. That is the only way it can work. God said when we marry, then we are to make our own decisions and not involve any other family members, on either side. Not on your husband's side and not on your side. This will always end up in disaster. You must make your own way and make your own decisions because going behind one's back and consulting with one of the family, is not only disrespectful, it's not right.
You do not need family interfering with your new life. When you visit and have fun, that's a different story, but that's as far as it goes. When you share things with your family behind your spouse's back, that is sneaky and it makes the other person feel like they are not important and also that you are not capable of handling family matters on your own, but you are, and you must handle your own family affairs without friends or family interfering. If you don't, your marriage will not survive. So it is important to get off to a good start in the marriage, by keeping your marriage and personal thoughts ABOUT your marriage, to yourselves.
No matter what, if you have a problem that needs to be resolved, never, never, go to your family for the answer. This is part of growing mature in your marriage. Your affairs are not to be shared with family, because they don't live with you everyday and they don't know each and every thing about what you both do, so they would not be making a fair judgment and being that they are your parents, they would tend to favor one over the other and this cannot be allowed. As marriage partners, you are to solve your own challenges. You cannot go crying to your family, over problems. That will make your family resent your partner and then you have even more problems.
Part 2 will come in the afternoon or early evening. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Meanwhile, this video makes for a very good start in saving OR maintaining your marriage.
[media=https://youtu.be/YK5-5qf9IQs]
