Marriage in my society

I just had the weirdest phone call from someone from work.. whom I really don't know well, she is in another dept, and I have only ever interacted with her on a very basic level when I was performing reviews on her dept. .. Recently she approached me for assistance/ advice oh education and career.. I welcomed her and did not mind spending time on this, but she is not my type friendship wise.


In the middle of the convo, she asks about my age, then she asks whether I am religious or not 🤷‍♀️ i answered the age question just fine, but the second question, I just countered it with, why you ask?? Then she is like; oh because i know someone who is looking for a bride 🤦‍♀️ and you are the first who crossed my mind 🤦‍♀️

Now I am wondering if she even just purely wanted my help, or also wanted to start conversations with me.. because the way she kept swearing ON HER OWN that this happened only yesterday seemed odd..

My instant anwer was, thanks but I am not interested. She asked surprisingly but why!!! I really felt she was going to follow it with; you are over thirty, be happy that someone even wants to consider you!! This is how she seemed, and I know this is how she thinks from the way she brings up her marriage and children in any convo. Actually from the very first time I met her, when she knew i was single she said with such pity; may god give you, as if I am a begger or something 🤷‍♀️

I was getting a little curious though, so asked her; umm is he like religious, is this why you were asking?

And she was like, he doesn't mind if his wife works and everything, but doesn't want her.. ummmm how do I put it, to be "outgoing", goes to parties, sits with people etc.

Damn, just my type of man!

I mean, firstly a male who has people look for him, which on its own, is a major red flag for me! Because he is not even looking himself, so he has zero romantic sense or interest in forming a loving relationship. He is probably just looking to procreate and to check off the marriage item off his to do list.

The second thing is his entitlement.. I mean so generous of him that 'he doesn't mind' me working.. I so wanted to asnwer, but who the phuk is he to mind or not mind to begin with? And he is looking for a girl who is innocent and conservative..

So basically a typical male with controlling amd self esteem issues 🤷‍♀️ I know this type very well!

It was funny that I crossed her mind.. i mean every single word she was saying i was like, WTF WTF WTF inside my head. But the thing is, I am quiet at work, serious, and introverted.. I do not wear make up which is VERY RARE in my culture and I have not even done my eyebrows and these two things give people the impression that I am conservative or religious... but after they have a 5 mins REAL convo with me they probably know that I am not lol .. it has happened many times before that people assumed I was conservative because of that.

I am not being cocky or anything, but I value myself so much to be with someone who is just looking to get married. I am not some sort of expired goods, he should be lucky to have me and he mus know it 🤷‍♀️ If I will ever be with someone, then he must REALLY want to be with me.

I now feel the same way I felt when my mother and sister tried to match me with a similar male. I felt like they are not seeing my value, just auctioning me to the first person asking. I also felt it in the way she was asking with confidence and then surprised, as if she feels that by now i will accept about anyone. What dhe doesn't know is that it is easy to get married, but the catch is in marrying a quality man 🤷‍♀️

I did not ask more questions about him, not to be mistaken for interest, but I am almost confident that he is probably too old or have been married before or something like this, and so thinks that someone who is over thirty should be lucky to have him even still. It is just how things work with these people!

So i felt like I was not valued.. I probably shouldn't feel this way but I do when people approach me with this kind of crap. It is amazing how they think that they are doing you a favour finding you a man... while you are not even interested the least and think of such men as bneath you, especially with the plans you have in life that are much more colourful and brighter than giving birth to the children of some entitled man who thinks that he has the right to set the rules in your life.

I really should have a better screening process for the calls I answer... Problem is that I am sitting in a cafe.. I always answer calls when i am in a public place thinking that the person calling could be around! Lol