A man should be the primary income holder in a marriage.

@Adstar I think that most men also prefer not to work long hours in demanding jobs!

@ninalanyon Many men are motivated to do exactly that to attain the wealth and social status they desire to attract the better quality woman for relationships and marriage..

@Adstar That's a long way from meaning that they actually like working long hours in demanding jobs.

@ninalanyon To them it is a trade off... Pay a high price for a top quality prize.. As long as they get the prize the effort is worth it..

@ninalanyon Demanding jobs with great pay will always have long hours. long hours is the part of the job. Everyone who does such job knows it beforehand. You won't find a male thoracic/neurosurgeon who doesn't work at least 80 hours a week. You won't find a newly hired lawyer in law firm not putting 100 hours a week. Or an Economist in equity farm..

@Adstar Or a stay-a-home father as I was; caring for the kid plus working a small business from home.

@ChipmunkErnie There are always exceptional exceptions to the norm Ernie.. But on average woman like men who earn more money.. Woman ( on average ) like security.. Financial, physical and relational security..

@Adstar So do most men.

@ChipmunkErnie Men with any sense of self respect never rely on woman for physical or financial security...

The only thing they want is relationship security.. They want to know their woman will by loyal to them into the future..

@Adstar Is it nice living in that cave?

@ChipmunkErnie ?

@Adstar Perhaps he's politely saying that you have the moral understanding of a caveman. Personally I think that would be an insult to the caveman.

@ninalanyon Why do you assume cave men never had morals??? I have absolutly no idea what he means by the cave comment? And anyway what does this little exchange have to do with morals.. It has everything to do with preferences.. Mens preferences and womans preferences.. What most men want and what most woman want..

@Adstar Another interpretation of the cave comment is that he thinks you have been living isolated from the world and the changes in ways of thinking about peoples roles in partnerships.

If @solitaire had said at the outset that she merely preferred men to be the primary income holders we would be having a different discussion because it would be a matter between her and her male partner. But she said should; that makes it everyone else's business too because making such a rule deprives others of autonomy.

@ninalanyon

Well then if that's the point he was making then why cant he state it as clearly as you have.. Surely it was not hard for you to state it as you have?


She was expressing a personal opinion, her desire.. Her opinion that something should be this way or that way is again a Personal opinion.. So when anyone says things should be this way or that way people can reply with well i think things should be another way.. People should not troll her with personal attacks or denigration..

Everyone here is here to express personal opinions.. No need to get all worked up over someone else's options.. Especially when it is only about peoples personal preferences in prospective life partners..