Marrying again ..hmmmm?

I recent went out for a lovely meal with a friend, weve been close friends since we were 12.
Anyhoo due to past lockdowns and everything they entailed. Was a much needed catch up.

The dinner & a live Jazz evening to come. are a much needed catch up, and a lovely prelude to a 4 day singles break weve booked for September (😊Yay its only around the corner)

Anyhoo .. on and off weve both been online dating (for our sins lol) she currently trying on the sly to match make me with a man she met at speed dating, who wasn't her type ..although suddenly pulling his photo up, at dinner . I finally twigged that she thinks he will be great for me.
I've decided to play thick to it... and agreed that she could invite him to our live jazz night next week hahaha.

Well as we were chatting , the issue of remarrying came up. After my divorce 3 yrs ago, I wasn't so sure .. but recently I have gone from knowing its not something I want now.

Because while I am and always will be a one man woman, As a single mature woman in my late 50's I really cant see the value in trying the knot again. I see more value in enjoying nice companionship instead. Nothing concreted to whatever .. just a lovely friendship.

Also there are practical reasons for my not wanting to marry at this moment in my life I still have 2 teens at home. It takes a long while to get to know if a man is suitable and trustworthy enough to move into our home and become a step parent .

Soon enough they will be older adults and able to live away from home as independent adults .

I would actually like to spare them any potential involvement with a step father.

I have concluded that Yes I would like to remarry - because I believe marriage adds many strengths to a couples relationship . However I am planning for marriage after age 65 + .

With kids flown nest and enjoyed many years of singledom the ,I cant think of a more perfect time to think serious & long-term,

My friend on the other hand disagrees and believes marriage is the best and only solution to being single hmmmm.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Mamapolo2016 · F

My husband (a really good one) died twelve years ago. After about 5 years I dated some, but the longer I've been single, the more I like it.

The idea of intertwining lives just makes me tired now. On the rare occasions when someone seriously flirts, I make myself scarce until the fire subsides.

I'd have stayed married to him as long as I could, but it would take something epic to make me do it again.

Kae20 · 56-60, FVIP

@Mamapolo2016 So sad that you lost your hubby.

Yet totally inspiring to read that you have been content for a while at to embrace being single.

My concern would be keeping a feeling of loneliness at bay.

Because while I do actually enjoy my own, I'm happy in the company of others I especially like the idea of being able to cosy on the sofa with someone special enough to endure my taste in movies 😜 even more so as I get up in years.

In terms of long-term companionship Do you ever think about your future?

Or is the future something that will simply happen when it happens?🙂

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Kae20 To be dreadfully honest, at my age I have a fear of becoming a caregiver, again. While I gladly embraced that with husband, mother and brother, in that order, I'm not at all sure I have a fourth time in me.

My dog is very cuddly.

Kae20 · 56-60, FVIP

@Mamapolo2016 yes I have thoughts on this aspect . Will pop back for comms a bit later x

Kae20 · 56-60, FVIP

@Mamapolo2016 your absolutely right, as we go up in years, having seen through our nursing duties .

Where I also cared for my mother for 10 yrs .

Just the thoughts of potentially having an obligation makes you stop & think. And vis a vis .. I wouldnt want to put that on someone else's sholders either. 😟

Having said all of this. Couples who go through their Autum & winter years together overall are more content than . Lonely Elderly Singles .

And the thing is I love Cats ..So I know what will happen to me if I die old and alone.

Cat Sushi 🍣 😄

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Kae20 Overall, maybe. I have a friend who constantly mourns being alone. I don't.

As for cat sushi, if Chloe needed to devour me to survive, I hope she would. I won't be needing those calories.

Fluffybull · F

@Mamapolo2016 Same here. If Anything happened to my husband I wouldn't even try to "find" someone else.

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

@Mamapolo2016 My father passed away at 62, mom was 55, she never even looked at another man and she asked me once when she was probably 64 or 65 what I thought about her having a relationship with someone else. It seems my sister had been trying to get her to start dating again, she asked me what I thought. I told her that I didn't have a problem with it if that was what she wanted. It wouldn't hurt my feelings for her to have a companion. She said she wasn't interested and I asked her reason, her and my dad got married in 1944, she was 15 and dad was 22. They had been married for 40 years before my dad passed, she said "Why would I even look at another man when I had the best one there ever was for 40 years, nope, not interested. It would be a let down."

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Roadsterrider My mom was the same way. She told me once she wouldn't mind having a friend to go out to dinner with, as long as he went away after dinner!

Kae20 · 56-60, FVIP

@Mamapolo2016 after 50 - Its very easy to get set in your ways, and not want a full time relationship again. But yes dinner & company is a nice idea .. nothing taxing and non-hermit like 🙂