I Am Unhappy In My Marriage And Don't Know What To Do

I had a Birthday recently and my husband surprised me by making it special, he would not have done so a few years back.
We planned on a Birthday dinner the next day with my grown children and in the old days he would not have thought about doing anything for the day itself.
It makes me feel a bit gulity for having very little feelings for him in the romantic department.
I did appreciate the effort and told him as much.
If he would have shown this type of care all along my feelings for him may not have died.
They have softened a bit toward him, but I am still cautious.
Although not completely innocent myself, he was the first to break trust and leave me vulnerable.
Not using that as an excuse, I am simply stating the truth.
On a side note:
My pretend lover showed back up after a long time of silence, but I am through with that nonsense.
I love you but, I won't talk to you for weeks at a time is not acceptable and I cannot believe that I put up with it for as long as I did.
I guess I put up with too much, after all I did put with my husband nonsense, as well, for a very long time.