I Live In a Sexless Marriage

My anniversary is coming up soon...seventeen years. When I say it or even type the number it makes it all the more horrible. The fact that I have spent 17 years of my life this way makes me question my sanity, but the truth is that in any situation you learn to get by, adapt, and mentally settle in. It's healthy and yet it's not. Other circumstances create the need to adapt...whatever they are...but you mentally suffer inside. I am at a place now where the suffering has ended. I am no longer grieving it and am now working on my exit plan and working on myself, physically and mentally. To say that I don't think about the lost time would be a lie. I can't get stuck there though.
He wants to go to dinner and present me with a mushy card. I will go. I will go instead of having an argument and a fight. I don't even have the interest in fighting about it, but it does make me wonder why this is still important to him. Is it simply tradition? He cares for me I am sure but there is no love or and hasn't been passion for a long time. Maybe I go because I still care for him, despite everything. I won't get a card...he doesn't care about them and I won't say things I don't feel, even in a card.
I view my future from a singular mind. Even if it doesn't come for 5-10 more years, I know it will. Even if I am alone the rest of my life I will do it anyway, because a chance for something better is still a chance, and I don't want to miss it when it comes.
-Raven