I Live In a Sexless Marriage

@Docdon23 Kat had the courage to leave. She doesn't say she regretted it. Kat wants better and she shall have it. You can stay in your cold one and have all the regrets. Til one of you dies. And that is far worse than words can say.

@PoetryNEmotion Well, I certainly hope I will end up better off than when I started. Either 1) a miracle will occur, and my ex and I will be cured of our problems and reunite; or 2) a miracle will occur, and I’ll meet someone with whom I can have the relationship I want; or 3) a miracle will occur and I’ll be hit on the head or something and become a blissed-out serenity junkie who just loves being on my own.

I will say this: If I didn’t think it was possible that I would end up better off, I would have stayed where I was. I was optimistic, at the time that I left. The longer it takes for things to come together in a good way, the more I wonder if I was too optimistic at that time.

@SmartKat I do believe in miracles, Kat. Your ex is the past. You will find you are happier on your own. You likely will find someone who loves you like you deserve. The last two are certainly possible. Your optimism is buried presently. Good things take time, Kat. You take all the time that life needs for you. You, Kat, were never too optimistic. Deep down in that aching heart, you know you were right. You are free. That is the best thing for you and your precious heart and even more precious soul. I am rarely wrong and, on this occasion, I am perfectly correct. Trust me. Trust life. Trust freedom. It is the way. Never can anyone on this earth tell me that being free from a sexless union is something undesirable. Never. Because the truth always sets you free. And free to be loved for who you are by yourself and then by someone who does love you like you deserve is what life is all about. I know. (And, for the record, Kat, you will never have to regret settling because you didn't! All those unhappy people will live with regrets til the time they die or their spouses do. I can only imagine what THAT would feel like!)

@PoetryNEmotion My wife has had cancer. leaving her would be cruel...sometimes we must adjust to less-than perfect relationships because we care about how others feel...my feelings really are not as important here as caring for others...and I also have my kids to think about--my parents got divorced and it had a profound impact n me for a long time...to be honest, I try very hard to never judge others or the situations they are in--or how they react to them

@Docdon23 Then to be truthful, your situation is temporary. You will be free when she dies. Sorry for the bluntness. Would you have been happier had your parents remained under the same roof? You are human. So am I. We can feel as we like. I feel strongly. I would like everyone to be happy in their relationships. And each of us do have some power in that. I am sorry your wife is dying. That's about it.

@PoetryNEmotion I’m still not happier on my own. I’d call it a draw, at this point.

@Docdon23 I’m so sorry for your situation being what it is. Cancer is relentless; I lost my mother to cancer almost 3 months ago, and my family life has not been the same since she was diagnosed. You will be in my thoughts.

@SmartKat Thank you...and talking about me being free when she dies--oh my goodness. I do not think that way at all!!

@PoetryNEmotion Thank you. I probably came across as snarcky...I usually am not...this is just a sensitive issue with me. My wife first had breast cancer 37 years ago, when we first met, and then again a few years later. She has had both breasts removed now for over 30 years, with no reconstruction...she has been cancer-free for 30 years, so who knows. Sorry if I sounded harsh...she does take medications, has her own issues, and tends to drink a little too much considering her medications and situation...so here we are!

@Docdon23 hi i'm not a doctor . worked with my mom . if nothing else try to get away from as much sugar as possible . it moves cancer . prayers to you and wife .

@anoderod55 Thank you for your advice--I appreciate it!

@Docdon23 welcome and good luck !