My wife: In care and still caring

I got a report from a staff member/carer in my wifes dementia unit yesterday. My wife was herself a nurse in aged care and unit manager as her career, before dementia came calling..
It seems that one of the fellow residents was in the final stages and fading fast. Non communicative and bed ridden. And my wife took it upon herself to spend her whole day sitting by her bed, just talking to her and holding her hand.. She had to be called away for meals, then returned immediately after.. This went on for four days, until the old lady, who had no one to visit her or wish her farewell, passed in the night.. For four days, my wife was the nurse carer she always wanted to be for her residents. I dont think I have ever been as proud of her as I am right now.. Thats just who she still is underneath it all. Seeing someone who had no one didnt feel alone and forgotten.😷

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Thinkingdeeper · 36-40, M

Thank you for sharing this with us. Happy tears to hear this and how she selflessly cared for someone else despite what she is going through. I can tell she also is very lucky to have a husband who cares and loves her as you do for her. Best wishes to you both.

hartfire · 61-69

@Thinkingdeeper That's not luck. When you treat someone with kindness and honesty all your life, they love you. It's a mutually reciprocal thing. The husband is as good a person as his wife - you can hear it in how he expresses his values in his love and appreciation of her.
I'd wager they saw that kindness in each other during the events of first getting to know one another.
Who we meet and settle with isn't luck: it's a result of where and how we live, the circumstances we create.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@hartfire Thats very generous of you to us both. I always believed that while neither of us was perfect, we happened to have a perfect blend of skills and flaws and the sense let the better person step up when the situation called for it..It just worked...😷

hartfire · 61-69

@whowasthatmaskedman Exactly what a good marriage is.
I've developed a lot of respect for you over the years of watching your posts.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@hartfire Thank you again.. 😷

Stuffy · 61-69, F

@Thinkingdeeper excuse me for butting in, I agree they (you,masked man& wife) have been lucky in love and of course reciprocal kindness is there. I was unlucky that I didn’t find reciprocal kindness honesty and other things needed in my marriage.

What a sweet woman she must be.
@hartfire to say there is no luck involved suggests that a person in a poor relationship didn’t earn the kindness everyone else deserved. We have some control but not completely. Some people truly get caught between a rock and a hard place. Yet it is good to encourage the attitude that we can recreate better circumstances for ourselves despite what we are born into. I do not believe we choose where and into what circumstances we are thrust into in life.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@Stuffy Sweet isnt the word in reality. She always was, (and still is if crossed) a fighting Scot..But we always were a perfect fit for each other and always had the same goals in life. Right from the start. So there never were any serious battles of principle.. Just disagreements on the best way to achieve a goal..😷