Sinking heart

We still talk, lately we have been talking on the phone longer…talking about work mainly. Jokingly i asked her if i should plan a holiday, and she was firm no. Even though sometimes i say i miss her, but she said its just that cause i have not found anyone yet. That made me sad, as if I didn’t love her. Maybe that’s true, but i have to live with this.
I have no words sometimes, my heart just sinks.