Is he no longer interested in me?

Met a guy , really hit it off , talked for a few weeks.
Lovely messages back and forth. He mentioned he is INFJ.
He works in international development.
He is very attractive.

After a few weeks he suddenly says that with the Ukraine war he needs to travel and urgently take care of a project.

That's where things got different.

He replies to my text messages very short and claims to have had no rest.
He doesn't take any initiative by himself anymore.

He didn't ghost me though because ghosting would imply no longer answering.

He just stopped taking initiative all together.
While he was the one who was very eager to get to know me , those first few weeks.

Could it be that his work really consumes all his time for this last two weeks or is it an excuse to not say '' I'm no longer interested? "

He knew everything important about me by the way.
So I didn't hide anything.

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SW-User

Its not uncommon for INFJ's to bond with you then pull away. Unfortunately.

BreakfastGirl · 36-40, F

@SW-User What does it mean?
Would it be ok to ask him upfront whether he still wants to get to know each other or prefers things to leave as is?

SW-User

@BreakfastGirl I think it's fine to ask him. You have a right not to waste your time.

BreakfastGirl · 36-40, F

@SW-User The thing is that I also don't want to come over as desperate you know? I really like this guy but don't want to come over as if I'm waiting at his feet for a headpat. I'm so conflicted on this.

SW-User

@BreakfastGirl If you already let him know you were interested digress your energy. I wouldn't chase him. Men that want you show up and materialize. I'm sorry though.

BreakfastGirl · 36-40, F

@SW-User Would it come over as desperate if I send him the following message?

" Hi Soren, I'm a bit confused about our interaction.
You message me , there seems to be a click and while I understand you are super busy , there is a certain radio silence all of a sudden.
I fully respect your choice whatever it is. But I love and value honesty. Would you prefer that we leave things as is or do you still want to get to know one another? Either way is fine for me , I just like to know where I stand at.
Kindly ,
Samantha "

SW-User

@BreakfastGirl I think it's fine. You seem like a lovely girl and I feel empathy for you in this situation. I just don't have hope for guys that pull away like that. They always do it and if you're more involved it hurts more.
Good luck x

BreakfastGirl · 36-40, F

@SW-User I asked him upfront and feel terrible about it.
It so goes against my usual way of dating where I wait until the guy leads.
Am I wrong for feeling that way?
:-/

SW-User

@BreakfastGirl I don't feel you are wrong for your feelings at all. Some people are really wishy washy and as women we want someone who returns our energy and interest. You may have dodged a bullet.

BreakfastGirl · 36-40, F

@SW-User You are so right and it makes me feel better to hear that I am not the only woman who dealt with men who ghost. When you're ghosted after a great initial connection you start to doubt what's wrong with you etc. but maybe it's just the weirdness of the guy sometimes.
Online dating is not about connections anymore , it's purely about narcissism these days it sometimes seems. Let's return to old-fashioned dating , please , where the guy picks me up and drops me off at the door and takes me out to the bar lol

SW-User

@BreakfastGirl Exactly that. Probably more to do with him.