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Jealousy is something I rarely feel but in certain contexts I don't understand people not feeling any at all...

I kinda envy people that never feel envy. When I've had partners make sexual comments about other people, it definitely bothered me. Not because I wanted what they have, but more of, I don't look at people that way, I don't want to be looked at that way, and I wish we were all respectful enough to not have our looks be our defining moment with others. I'm bothered by the superficial outside desire that threatens what's real.

Is that jealousy? Or do I just want the person I love to be respectful of others, because I want them to be respectful of me?

I can't fathom racey comments about other people as being a sign of security. People cheat, people lie, and I guess they do it irregardless of if they comment openly about being attracted to other people. I've definitely hooked up with people I found attractive only on the outside. There's not a lot of satisfaction to it, but there's some. I'm sure that's plenty for others to make the choice to go behind their partners back.

Maybe I'm an old fuddy duddy. It's not insecurity, because I'm good with me. It's just, I don't want to look at each other and everyone else in that way anymore. It's boring and yes, slightly threatening to me personally.
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I have struggled with jealousy all my life. It's been a good development for my wife and me to become comfortable with mentioning that we find a stranger or acquaintance good looking/ attractive. Since we are both somewhat bi, we can have a smile when we agree, or puzzlement when we dont. I'm not sure if that is the kind of comment you mean, though?