I Hate What Insecurity Causes

Really struggling at the moment due to massive personal insecurities. I'm a little overweight, go to a high-achieving university but it makes me feel very stupid, I don't like how I look or many personality traits. I'm just really hating waking up and being myself at the moment. I'm in the process of changing things, such as dieting/exercising, trying even harder with work etc but nothing seems to be working.
It's also affecting my relationship even though I don't want it to. I'm finding it really hard to be happy for my partner when he wants to achieve something such as doing a 10k run. He will be really excited about it and training really hard and I'm outwardly trying to support him but I'm taking this as pressure for me to do better, be fitter, match his ability. But instead of motivating, I'm just hating myself massively more and more. Similarly, he did really well in university exams and whilst i congratulated him, I just took this and thought about how stupid I am and how I never achieve what I want to despite trying etc.

Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this kind of self-hatred? Particularly so I don't become a toxic girlfriend!

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Elevatorpitches · F

How about transferring to a school more in line with your interests? Can u do that?

Also were u forced to do things against your will all your life?

Reject · 26-30, M

Unfortunately as long as you hate yourself, nothing you do will ever prevent these fears you have. You could be beautiful, intelligent, and successful, none of that will matter as long as you hate yourself because you'll always see everything negatively anyways. My advice would be learn how to love yourself more by focusing on positives instead.

Carazaa · F

Personally I just lean on God. He makes everyone special in our own way. Knowing your strengths is also super important! Take personality assessments to learn your personality strengths. Also a therapist can help you realize your worth. A man will be attracted to you because of looks at first, but love you for being you! Don't change for anyone. I am doing the Atkins diet now to become healthier, its the only way for me to lose my apetite for sweets and carbs, it really works fast. I only eat protein for a few weeks and then slowly integrate other foods.
And count your blessings every day. SSRI meds can also help a lot, a regular doctor can prescribe them because they aren't addicting but really work good. But it takes 8 weeks for them to work so you have to be patient. I've taken them a couple times in the past and they helped me a lot during hard times.

DaddyThomas · 46-50, M

I would do a course in cognitive behavior therapy. You learn to transform your negative thoughts into positive ones

Unlearn · 41-45, M

Teenage is a phase...

Sseg20 · 26-30, F

@Unlearn I'm 21!!😂

Unlearn · 41-45, M

@Sseg20 you'll get over it...one day you will realize that it's more important to experience this life than thinking about what others might be thinking. It's not important, how you look, what's more important is how you feel.

Dolimyte · 41-45, M

I bet if you posted a pic, you'd hear differently.

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