I Have Some Insecurity Issues

These insecurities come up every now and then.. and i’m hit with those feelings of ‘not good enough’ all over again. I know they are rooted in my childhood when i was never good enough for my mom, and from my first relationship where my ex always criticized me for everything, even the way i looked. But when these feelings resurface, I can’t help but doubt everything, even my own existence. It makes me scared that my SO would leave me, even though i know how much he loves me. It’s an irritational fear and yet i cannot do anything about it. The same fear was the reason why i kept everyone at a distance, not allowing myself to get involved or be loved coz they might leave some day.. and sometimes people do leave. That’s a part of life. But no matter how much i rationalize, sometimes its hard to shake off these feelings of insecurity.

So i write.. and sit with it.. waiting for them to pass.. coz i know deep down, that my heart doesn’t need any definition of “good enough” or “not good enough”.. it is beautiful in its own way..
💙🍃💕