im on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell
before i write anything else, im going to say, i dont want anyone saying anything sexual to me or about this. this is the reason why i left ins-dream. i found the forum wayyyy too sexual, it focused too much on the sexual aspect and not enough on the romantic aspect. im here to discuss romantic feelings only, the sexual part is wayyy too personal
after a month, ive come to terms with the fact i have romantic feelings for my brother. i dont know how this happen, nor did i want it to happen, it just did. i have fantasies of us cuddling/him holding me. a couple of months ago, i moved in with him; but for a reason i will not say, i had to leave because i was going through something hard. he helped me through this difficult time. he's one of the sweetest, most caring, compassionate people ive ever met. not only is he sweet, he's sexy. i stare at photos of him because of how fine he is. i find my brother irresistible
the problem is, he finds incest disgusting. due to this, ive come to the conclusion it's best for me to cut him out of my life. he would be totally scarred and repulsed by me if he were to find out im crushing on him, so i must go. i feel like a creep by being around him
i know these feelings are wrong, but i cant control them. for whatever reason, i have them. the amount of turmoil ive been feeling this past month has been unmatched. oddly enough, i see my uncle and my dad as family; therefore, the thought of dating them makes me want to hang myself. but i dont see my brother as family. im very well aware im suffering from cognitive dissonance, but this is the most sense i can make out of my sick mind
ive been listening to ''wrong side of heaven'' by five finger death punch in a loop because it describes me 100%. the song is about a person who is having a moral dilemma with themselves; it's about a person who is bad and knows they are bad and feels remorseful. my brother and i dont deserve this. i dont deserve to be tortured by being around someone i want and cant have, and my brother doesnt deserve to be around his sister who has incestuous feelings for him. it's best for both of us if i leave
he has to send me something important in the mail. as soon as he does that, i will be out of his life
"Arms wide open
I stand alone
I'm no hero
And I'm not made of stone
Right or wrong
I can hardly tell
I'm on the wrong side of Heaven
And the righteous side of Hell"
after a month, ive come to terms with the fact i have romantic feelings for my brother. i dont know how this happen, nor did i want it to happen, it just did. i have fantasies of us cuddling/him holding me. a couple of months ago, i moved in with him; but for a reason i will not say, i had to leave because i was going through something hard. he helped me through this difficult time. he's one of the sweetest, most caring, compassionate people ive ever met. not only is he sweet, he's sexy. i stare at photos of him because of how fine he is. i find my brother irresistible
the problem is, he finds incest disgusting. due to this, ive come to the conclusion it's best for me to cut him out of my life. he would be totally scarred and repulsed by me if he were to find out im crushing on him, so i must go. i feel like a creep by being around him
i know these feelings are wrong, but i cant control them. for whatever reason, i have them. the amount of turmoil ive been feeling this past month has been unmatched. oddly enough, i see my uncle and my dad as family; therefore, the thought of dating them makes me want to hang myself. but i dont see my brother as family. im very well aware im suffering from cognitive dissonance, but this is the most sense i can make out of my sick mind
ive been listening to ''wrong side of heaven'' by five finger death punch in a loop because it describes me 100%. the song is about a person who is having a moral dilemma with themselves; it's about a person who is bad and knows they are bad and feels remorseful. my brother and i dont deserve this. i dont deserve to be tortured by being around someone i want and cant have, and my brother doesnt deserve to be around his sister who has incestuous feelings for him. it's best for both of us if i leave
he has to send me something important in the mail. as soon as he does that, i will be out of his life
"Arms wide open
I stand alone
I'm no hero
And I'm not made of stone
Right or wrong
I can hardly tell
I'm on the wrong side of Heaven
And the righteous side of Hell"
