I want to have sex with my mother

Firstly, she is married, but the relationship is rather bad. My father has a nervous nature and belittles her all the time and gets angry because of strange problems. My mother is the reason he did not leave my father because of me and my sister and because of society and family. My father is her cousin. In our country, a cousin is not considered incest, and it does not work. He is just on a functional pension. My mother works every day for a long time and it's not like she's sad, just... she works for a long time because she has a job and a project, and I helped him every day for three years and then she changed the project to something else, and I can't help her and get close to her. One time I decided to test how far I could go with her while we were traveling two and a half years ago, and I thought it was appropriate to get closer to her, and decided to try. I decided to touch her buttocks, to test how far my mother would go, and when we were in a restaurant, she was next to me and in front of me, my father and my sister, and I touched her, but she did not do anything. I felt that she was afraid because my father was in front of me, and after that we went out and before returning to the hotel, she went down to buy some sweets, and I went down behind her and touched her, but she did not say anything. I felt like she might be embarrassed, that was the last time I clearly touched her, she didn't say anything or give any look in any way, and I couldn't get close to her after traveling due to work and exams. Now I want to get closer to her, but my main problem is my father. He is retired and always stays at home 24 hours a day, and I can never get close to her because of him. Information about his personality is that he is somewhat strong and intelligent and gets angry easily, but the strange thing is that when I approach her or we are alone, she does not get nervous. On the contrary, she is quiet when I approach her. She doesn't comment too strongly on her massage, but if you get too close to her, the most she will say is: "Oh, thank you for the massage, and now I want to know what to do to get closer to her. I honestly don't know, especially with my parents around. I want to find some The plan. Sorry for the many details, I hope you can help me.