I Have Never And Will Never Cheat
I can't say I never cheated but I will never do it again. I absolutely hate myself for doing as much as I did.
Keep in mind I did not initiate it, I wasn't strong enough to stop it at first though.
We went to a mutual friends house and had a beer, I walked her home and she kissed me. I stopped and said that it was wrong and her husband and kid were right inside. She kissed me again. I got in the truck to drive home, and she got in with me. I drove to my house because I did not want a situation where her husband caught us alone together. She kept kissing me in my driveway and I became weak letting her in my house. She took my hand and walked me to my bedroom where she took her clothes off and then mine. She proceeded to tell me that she had already told her husband that she was leaving him and he was already packed and moving out. I said we can't do this as long as you are married. She said "Fine" and took her ring off and threw it across the room. "I'm not married, now lets do it" After a lot of physical touching and kissing I laid back and said NO, I can't do this. She kept trying, I said NO. I got dressed and sat in the living room and she straddled my lap trying to start it again. I said I am sorry I just can't do this. I ended up taking her home without completely going through with it, but I let things go entirely too far.
The next day and for several months after I felt physically ill. Sick to my stomach, replaying it and how I let it go so far in my mind. I felt like a knife was plunged in my stomach. I cannot ever let myself do it again. I have a terrible physical and emotional reaction.
I never wanted it, I dislike her for making me a part of it. I was single and unattached but I knew she was married so I have to take blame for letting things go so far. I helped someone cheat so that makes me a cheater and I hate that it is even a part of my past.
Keep in mind I did not initiate it, I wasn't strong enough to stop it at first though.
We went to a mutual friends house and had a beer, I walked her home and she kissed me. I stopped and said that it was wrong and her husband and kid were right inside. She kissed me again. I got in the truck to drive home, and she got in with me. I drove to my house because I did not want a situation where her husband caught us alone together. She kept kissing me in my driveway and I became weak letting her in my house. She took my hand and walked me to my bedroom where she took her clothes off and then mine. She proceeded to tell me that she had already told her husband that she was leaving him and he was already packed and moving out. I said we can't do this as long as you are married. She said "Fine" and took her ring off and threw it across the room. "I'm not married, now lets do it" After a lot of physical touching and kissing I laid back and said NO, I can't do this. She kept trying, I said NO. I got dressed and sat in the living room and she straddled my lap trying to start it again. I said I am sorry I just can't do this. I ended up taking her home without completely going through with it, but I let things go entirely too far.
The next day and for several months after I felt physically ill. Sick to my stomach, replaying it and how I let it go so far in my mind. I felt like a knife was plunged in my stomach. I cannot ever let myself do it again. I have a terrible physical and emotional reaction.
I never wanted it, I dislike her for making me a part of it. I was single and unattached but I knew she was married so I have to take blame for letting things go so far. I helped someone cheat so that makes me a cheater and I hate that it is even a part of my past.
46-50, M