I Think Once a Cheater Always a Cheater

Once upon a time I held a perspective/ideal that I would be a faithful partner to whom ever I was in a relationship. That reality was crashed the moment that I started seeing another guy while being a in a long distance relationship with another man in 2017. I ended the long distance relationship at the persistence of the new guy. Things were over long ago however I stayed in the partnership.

It’s over a year now with the current partner and we were also in a distance relationship by 3 hrs drive. However during this time I was also creating friendships with other people. I like to talk and I find myself bored easily ( no this is not a defence- merely background info). It’s coming up to 5 months we’re living together.

I love this guy. Yet I’m bored and now I find myself talking to other guys but I always tell them I’m in a relationship and seeking platonic interactions.

Yet things have happened and I didn’t intend them to. I’m a cheater and I want to return the ideal of being a faithful and committed partner.

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Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

I don’t subscribe to the “Once, Always” notion. I think that if one’s needs are truly being met by the person they are with, there is no need to look outside the relationship. So you’ve been in two and both times experienced a cheat. I’m pretty sure there’s someone out there who could snap you out of your habits. Good luck!

ZairaZenZen · 26-30, F

@Ambroseguy80 thank you! A release of a second big sigh of relief after reading your words of guidance. Appreciated :)

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

@ZairaZenZen make no mistake about it. Distance relationships ARE difficult. Moreso than “regular” relationships. You either have to love this guy enough to eventually move it closer, or focus on him somehow when the boredom hits, or break up and find someone closer.

ZairaZenZen · 26-30, F

You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned “one’s needs being truly met”. I knew deep down that I’m adjusting myself to meet his needs and therefore venturing elsewhere to make mine seen to.

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

@ZairaZenZen three hours is a great enough distance to make things hard. I was in a two hour one once, so I know. Do you see each other enough? Does he make the most of your time together when you’re together? Or does he act inattentive???

ZairaZenZen · 26-30, F

@Ambroseguy80 lol we’re living together now and it’s been 5 months. Initially I moved up to where he was for 2 months then he decided we should move to where I was living and currently are now. I value my freedom to get up and go without having to check in every 30 minutes- where I’m going and who I’m seeing. He’s attentive lol

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

@ZairaZenZen okay!!! You described it as a distance relationship I thought... that takes care of the distance. ;)

ZairaZenZen · 26-30, F

My first relationship was a long distance New Zealand and Australia then the current was 3 hours drive distance in the beginning

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

@ZairaZenZen I’d say you’re getting smarter. 😂

ZairaZenZen · 26-30, F

@Ambroseguy80 lol I live in hope! Cheers :)

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

@ZairaZenZen Cheers to you and a Happy New Year!

ZairaZenZen · 26-30, F

@Ambroseguy80 whoooohoo! Happy 2019 blessings to you too 😊