We celebrated one year together whilst on holiday. (June '24)
I met him on Hinge. My mother and I were on a uk holiday in Bournemouth with doggy for my mums 59th. That week was incredibly hot as we ended up experiencing a heatwave. Tbh noone expected it.
Anyways we matched but his profile was so vague. I wasn't sure if he was Hispanic, from the Philippines or what. I remember showing my mum and she was like, 🤷🏾♀️.
Not that it mattered he just left those details blank.
It was so easy to talk to him.
I was open and honest from the start about what I was looking for and he said he was on the same path.
His responses were good and detailed, he sounded as interested and keen as I was.
He respected that I was on holiday and I understood he was getting ready to play an important role as groomsman in a friend's wedding so after that initial connection we resumed our messages later on in the month.
I pushed for us to meet quickly.
In the past I have experienced good conversations on the app which often end up with awkward silences and that "fantasy/reality" nightmare- where the other person can't open up face to face.
He was so shy!
It was just a casual 1st meet in a Royal Park with Bruno.
I felt at ease with him and even let him hold the lead.
He was so kind and just really gentle.
He had already revealed that he had long covid and this period of time was about him trying to get back to normality after 2 years.
When we sat down to talk, I was probably a little mean, but it's a tactic I had learned, when I was suffering from severe anxiety.
Address the elephant in the room and talk about it.
So I boldly asked "Are you feeling nervous, why?"
He instantly sat up right and started telling me how he was feeling. I reassured him that I don't bite and I certainly wasn't going to pounce on him, not unless he wanted me to 🤪.
He laughed and seemed to relax.
It was brief but we had learned a little more about each other. It turned out that he wasn't Hispanic, he is actually mixed of race funnily enough half Jamaican.
Luckily this wasn't the first time he had been told he was a racial anomaly, so we were able to laugh about it.
We planned to meet again for ice cream after I boasted about finding this amazing place.
It was on this second date that he agreed the ice cream was good, (it's become our treat spot) but he also told me he wanted to get to know me better but in an exclusive relationship capacity.
He claimed that he saw me as his girlfriend although I was a little apprehensive but excited, so I went with it. I was honest I told him that we should see how things go since I wasn't talking to anyone else.
This year has been fun, exciting, devastating and shocking. There's been secondments, awful managers, periods of frustration, the cost of living crisis, our first holiday together, family meetings, the passing of a relative, news (I'll announce seperately) and now a redundancy.
It's been really up and down. But what's really nice is that I suspected he was autistic initially as he was so ridged, and needing to know everything and more. But he's slowly easing up on that. His family and friends have noticed the change and claim it's positive. I couldn't be happier to have had a positive impact on him, I know that he has helped to build on my happiness and I feel the most secure I have ever felt.
I'm still keeping my eye on things I think that will just be me due to previous relationships, but I'm not "testing" him, rather observing and communicating my needs and finding ways to compromise.
No relationship is perfect but this feels right for now.
