Loves Grows In All Ways Over The Years
My Husband and I got away, just the two of us, for a little while this morning, and it always feels so good. 🙂
We connect again, and I always find myself watching him. In my mind, I see him both as I did when he was a young wild man, and as I do now that we are both old, at the same time. I wish I could explain this better. 😔
We have shared a whole lifetime together (45 years), and I have watched him grow from a young, wild, carefree kid into a father for the first time. The change was so dramatic that it was like he needed a pipe and slippers. He went from being unable to be serious about anything to being super serious about everything. His face changed then, too. 🙂
I watched him go through midlife crisis when our oldest two were teens. I watched the pain in his face as our children rebelled against us. It mirrored my own.😔
I watched his face change when we became parents again after adopting our grandchildren. He was both happy and frustrated that we would not have any life alone, together again. ❤
I watched his face change as his job beat him into the ground, 😥
and I see his face now.❤
Today, as I watched him carry two 5-gallon buckets of dirt, which he is going to turn into clay, down the hill, I thought about how very very blessed I am that he is 66 and still so healthy. 😀
When he was on top of the hill, the 3rd bucket he was going to bring back broke. The handle broke off of it, and all the dirt for clay was lost down the ravine. I was sorry that I wasn't able to climb the steep hill and help. 😔
Then I laughed as he started kicking the bucket down the hill. Both hands were full, so he had no choice; you can't leave it for litter for Pete's sake.🙃 He looked like a little kid kicking a can along.❤
I remember every stage of life we have been through together. I wish I hadn't been so caught up in the everyday grind to stop and commit to memory every little thing we have lived. I wish I had spent more time alone with him. I wish we still had more time in front of us than behind us. Most of all, I plan to enjoy every minute we have left together. I am pretty sure that if my Husband dies before me, I will not live long after his death. 😔
It isn't that I wouldn't want to, but when you share a whole lifetime together, with all its pain, joy, tears, laughter, and all that comes between, the idea of walking alone in this world is about as foreign as it can get. Everyone else in our lives have been with us for a time, our parents, our siblings, his friends, our children, our grandchildren, etc. 🙂
Only he and I have walked through this life permanently by each other's side. I doubt I could live without that, so I am going to stop now and commit to memory every day, every laugh, every joke, every time we get to be alone together, every time he says "I love you", ( which is many times a day) because we don't have as many days in front of us as we have behind us anymore.😔
Last year, I almost lost him, and this scared me more than I have ever been scared in my life. He, for the first time in his life, had a flare of diverticulitis, and it was bad. He couldn't eat for 2 months, and he lost alot of weight. Every day I lived in fear until he started to recover. Still, in the back of my mind, I have a fear of when it will hit him again. I realized then how very much I need him. How much he is a part of me..How much he means the whole world to me. ❤
I love him more and more every day. Love grows in all ways over the years.❤❤❤
[media=https://youtu.be/qNC9ZdbDiQ0]
We connect again, and I always find myself watching him. In my mind, I see him both as I did when he was a young wild man, and as I do now that we are both old, at the same time. I wish I could explain this better. 😔
We have shared a whole lifetime together (45 years), and I have watched him grow from a young, wild, carefree kid into a father for the first time. The change was so dramatic that it was like he needed a pipe and slippers. He went from being unable to be serious about anything to being super serious about everything. His face changed then, too. 🙂
I watched him go through midlife crisis when our oldest two were teens. I watched the pain in his face as our children rebelled against us. It mirrored my own.😔
I watched his face change when we became parents again after adopting our grandchildren. He was both happy and frustrated that we would not have any life alone, together again. ❤
I watched his face change as his job beat him into the ground, 😥
and I see his face now.❤
Today, as I watched him carry two 5-gallon buckets of dirt, which he is going to turn into clay, down the hill, I thought about how very very blessed I am that he is 66 and still so healthy. 😀
When he was on top of the hill, the 3rd bucket he was going to bring back broke. The handle broke off of it, and all the dirt for clay was lost down the ravine. I was sorry that I wasn't able to climb the steep hill and help. 😔
Then I laughed as he started kicking the bucket down the hill. Both hands were full, so he had no choice; you can't leave it for litter for Pete's sake.🙃 He looked like a little kid kicking a can along.❤
I remember every stage of life we have been through together. I wish I hadn't been so caught up in the everyday grind to stop and commit to memory every little thing we have lived. I wish I had spent more time alone with him. I wish we still had more time in front of us than behind us. Most of all, I plan to enjoy every minute we have left together. I am pretty sure that if my Husband dies before me, I will not live long after his death. 😔
It isn't that I wouldn't want to, but when you share a whole lifetime together, with all its pain, joy, tears, laughter, and all that comes between, the idea of walking alone in this world is about as foreign as it can get. Everyone else in our lives have been with us for a time, our parents, our siblings, his friends, our children, our grandchildren, etc. 🙂
Only he and I have walked through this life permanently by each other's side. I doubt I could live without that, so I am going to stop now and commit to memory every day, every laugh, every joke, every time we get to be alone together, every time he says "I love you", ( which is many times a day) because we don't have as many days in front of us as we have behind us anymore.😔
Last year, I almost lost him, and this scared me more than I have ever been scared in my life. He, for the first time in his life, had a flare of diverticulitis, and it was bad. He couldn't eat for 2 months, and he lost alot of weight. Every day I lived in fear until he started to recover. Still, in the back of my mind, I have a fear of when it will hit him again. I realized then how very much I need him. How much he is a part of me..How much he means the whole world to me. ❤
I love him more and more every day. Love grows in all ways over the years.❤❤❤
[media=https://youtu.be/qNC9ZdbDiQ0]
