honestly yes I think there is

Summerman - Not in my books

I've asked myself that question many times. Although I crave physical contact and a special connection, I'm afraid to complicate things more than they are. I don't think the thought would cross my mind if circumstances were different.

I think there are times when infidelity is understandable, even though I would not call it justifiable. For example, a trusted friend once confessed to me that she had had an affair. I understood the frustration and loneliness she felt in her marriage at the time. I listened in what I hoped was a compassionate manner, while acknowledging that is was wrong. She also believed it was wrong (and she had cut it off a long time ago). But I urged her not to punish herself over it.

So no, I do not thing there can be a suitable reason, but it does not follow from that that I would automatically condemn someone who has an affair. I myself have been guilty of "emotional infidelity", and I am trying to come to terms with that.

Kryptonite, the emotional relationship I had with a woman online was not something I was looking for. I was not on the prowl, trying to find something on the side. But gradually, almost imperceptibly, the friendship became more than a friendship. You ask about guilt -- at the time, I did not feel guilt, because what we shared seemed so beautiful. It was only later on that we each came to see that it was wrong (and in all honesty, she was first.)She now says that we deluded ourselves, and I eventually had to admit she is right. At any rate, we are not in contact with each other anymore.

Perhaps the best answer to your very logical question is that these things defy logic sometimes :)

After 15 years of "marriage," I wonder what my wife would honestly do if I cheated. We haven't had sex or even slept in the same bed (except vacations) for seven years. It's the biggest farce of a marriage ever. Only our son keeps us together.

Do I think this is all a suitable reason for infidelity? No.

Plumberries - I totally agree with your opinion. I feel like when one starts to consider cheating, this is a major red flag that should not be ignored. In the end it is one person's choice to live in a lie and be deceitful, make a choice and live with it.

OwnedMalia - I believe that behind every action, is a reason. Might not be suitable nor right, what's important is the lesson learned. It takes two to make a healthy relationship, infidelity is common.

DrWatson - I am not judging, but why is it easier to live with the guilt knowing full well that what is happening is wrong? Why not, decide if the marriage/ relationship is worth saving, if not leave and create another life with someone else. Often I hear people say they are staying because of their kids, why would they want their kids growing up in an environment where both their parents are forced to be together? Kids look up to their parents as an example, is this a good example?

Do you think he just didn't realize how emotionally close you can get to someone online?

For me it is when I long for that sexual connection and there isn't any. Thus I had a FWB.

It depends on the relationship. Is there a suitable reason for fidelity?

KHG, why do we put ourselves through it? We're missing out on life :(

"Suitable" for whom? Everything's relative! ;)

NO!!!!!

Call and ask my ex wife

No

No.

@jaymic I am debating now if I am doing better for my son by staying.

When it's my wife and I, I am constantly overruled about his care. She's raising him to be an asshole/ungrateful kid because that it what she learned. It's like she's trying to spoil him so she's seen as the better parent. Or... she just always thinks I am wrong or mean.

So now I sit here thinking... do I split and use the alone time with him to make him a better person. Would he just hate me even more?

KindHeartedguy - 👍, and the thumbs up is because, I respect the way you are. It is simple if the situation is unbearable, cheating is not the answer but more an excuse.

You campaign in 'poetry'...govern in 'prose'.

Sarah - Can you elaborate?

I think it is easier for us to lie to ourselves than face consequences. I had my husband's ok to talk to guys online. He knew well everything I was doing, then all of the sudden everything changed and I am a lying slut and whore because of it. I know no situation is black and white and im not trying to excuse anyone or myself. But just because I don't see my actions the same way, it doesn't mean I cant understand how much I hurt him.

That's a tough call. I really don't know what's better for the kids. Sounds like our wives are sisters lol. I just get so damn tired of being emotionally beat up. I've stayed for my boys and for me being there for them every day has made up for a shit marriage. Now that my boys are older they see mom for who she is.

In a word: no.