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kim1girl · 61-69, T
Oh wow....
The 16 year old me (and the 18 year old version as well) was so naive, especially when it came to girls and their emotions.
I know the 1970 songs very well- I was behind you by only a year as a junior then.
The rekindling of your relationship (even platonic in nature) is fascinating. That happened to me eight years ago, with a girl I fell for (and never dated) years after high school.
The 16 year old me (and the 18 year old version as well) was so naive, especially when it came to girls and their emotions.
I know the 1970 songs very well- I was behind you by only a year as a junior then.
The rekindling of your relationship (even platonic in nature) is fascinating. That happened to me eight years ago, with a girl I fell for (and never dated) years after high school.
Carazaa · F
@DrWatson The world would be a lot better place if people ALWAYS thought of others. Parents need to teach kids early. When my kids were very small around 2 years old I told them be loving every single day, and rewarded them for their loving behaviors. All their teachers told me that they were popular because they were always considerate of others. Parents need to do a better job teaching their kids to be loving!
The Godly way to find a mate is by courting, not dating. We can see if a person is Godly by watching their behaviors. Do they go to the missions in their church, etc. My daughter went to Africa, and Mexico. My son waited to have sex. If we marry and our mate leaves, we stay single and dedicate our life to God. We don't look for another mate.
"Whoever marries a divorce woman commits adultery" I will remarry when my ex husband has died, not before. We have one life to live and we better think of God first and people second and ourselves last! We want God to say [quote][b]"Good and faithful servant"[/b][/quote]
The Godly way to find a mate is by courting, not dating. We can see if a person is Godly by watching their behaviors. Do they go to the missions in their church, etc. My daughter went to Africa, and Mexico. My son waited to have sex. If we marry and our mate leaves, we stay single and dedicate our life to God. We don't look for another mate.
"Whoever marries a divorce woman commits adultery" I will remarry when my ex husband has died, not before. We have one life to live and we better think of God first and people second and ourselves last! We want God to say [quote][b]"Good and faithful servant"[/b][/quote]
Peaches · F
I remember you sharing all of this, 😔 as I had shared the same thing happened to me. It must have really tugged on your heart strings.💓Our memories are so precious, and it's amazing which ones never leave us. ⭐ I didn't know you've remained in touch and she doesn't hold a grudge. That's wonderful.🥰 As you know...I LOVE those old 70's songs, they sound even better to me than they did then!🎵🎶😍
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Well put.
I sometimes reflect back on my first relationships and realise how few questions I asked and how little I really knew about my partners and friends. I had no idea, back then, how much the basic facts can influence who someone is and what they will become.
As for the break ups, I was the one who'd end it, and always gave my reasons.
Long before that moment, each fellow knew that I'd become profoundly unhappy and why.
If I'd had sufficient ability to observe and recognise warning signs, I would never have got involved with them. But of course, lack of knowledge of people is one of [i]the[/i] attributes of youth, so I forgive myself and am grateful for the learning.
There was an exception.
I'd broken up because the relationship didn't seem to be developing or showing any signs of having a future.
He looked me up with questions years later.
When we met over lunch, he asked, if he'd told me he loved me, might I have seen a future between us.
I replied, "yes, without question".
By that time he'd become a well known psychiatrist, had adults kids, was unhappy in his marriage and deeply depressed.
Not long after, I saw his obituary in the paper.
These things are terribly sad.
They show how vital deeper communication really is.
These days, I'm grateful for my husband. We have weathered the storms, learned how to relate and are best friends.
I sometimes reflect back on my first relationships and realise how few questions I asked and how little I really knew about my partners and friends. I had no idea, back then, how much the basic facts can influence who someone is and what they will become.
As for the break ups, I was the one who'd end it, and always gave my reasons.
Long before that moment, each fellow knew that I'd become profoundly unhappy and why.
If I'd had sufficient ability to observe and recognise warning signs, I would never have got involved with them. But of course, lack of knowledge of people is one of [i]the[/i] attributes of youth, so I forgive myself and am grateful for the learning.
There was an exception.
I'd broken up because the relationship didn't seem to be developing or showing any signs of having a future.
He looked me up with questions years later.
When we met over lunch, he asked, if he'd told me he loved me, might I have seen a future between us.
I replied, "yes, without question".
By that time he'd become a well known psychiatrist, had adults kids, was unhappy in his marriage and deeply depressed.
Not long after, I saw his obituary in the paper.
These things are terribly sad.
They show how vital deeper communication really is.
These days, I'm grateful for my husband. We have weathered the storms, learned how to relate and are best friends.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
@hartfire Thank you for such a thoughtful reply.
In the three years since I posted this, that woman and I have become good friends, and that friendship has included my wife.
Last summer, my wife and I traveled to visit her and her husband. We spent four days there and we all had a great time.
In the three years since I posted this, that woman and I have become good friends, and that friendship has included my wife.
Last summer, my wife and I traveled to visit her and her husband. We spent four days there and we all had a great time.
Maybe I'm missing something here, and I do believe it when you said you didn't have sex with that girl but I'm wondering why you're pining over this and feeling so bad about it for simply breaking up with someone whom you said you outgrew. I don't understand that. Why would you feel so guilty and beat yourself up over it? Why bring it up now? I understand really why, however how are you to know that she was having such a bad time at home? It makes no sense to feel that bad just because you decided to move on. Since when is this a crime?
@DrWatson I see so many here being so judgmental of you. I'm so sorry this has happened. You gave the exact reason why you broke up with her and there was nothing wrong about it. Some act as if they know you and your heart, but they cannot possibly. I think their judgment comes from their own past where someone has hurt them and it has drudged up those terrible feelings and hurt in them again and so they feel every man might be the same, passing that same judgment on to you. I am sorry for those hurts for those people, and I'm sorry for your hurts that have come from your post, but they were wrong to place judgment on you.
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Elevatorpitches · F
Frank Shorter, that famous Olympic runner from the seventies, had an older brother in the class ahead of me,
and at age 12 I was madly in love, handsome hunk, voice changing and loved baseball instead of me, but he liked me and we held hands while walking home from school etc..It was the sweetest few weeks of my life. Then it was over forever.
Decades later I read in the media an article his famous brother had written for his adoring fans..and that was the story of his brutal doctor father. Twelve kids in that family and all of them really hurt by dad and my heartthrob was the eldest.
Maybe he held my hand for support.
I never again had a love like that.
and at age 12 I was madly in love, handsome hunk, voice changing and loved baseball instead of me, but he liked me and we held hands while walking home from school etc..It was the sweetest few weeks of my life. Then it was over forever.
Decades later I read in the media an article his famous brother had written for his adoring fans..and that was the story of his brutal doctor father. Twelve kids in that family and all of them really hurt by dad and my heartthrob was the eldest.
Maybe he held my hand for support.
I never again had a love like that.
SweetMae · 70-79, F
I do think about what another person must feel like and experience after a break up. I wonder of we both ate listening to songs like that.
I was in the same situation as your high school friend My high school boyfriend broke off our engagement. Of course I was devastated at the time. A few weeks later he called me and we were married 6 months after that. But, he couldn't rescue me from myself. That was something I had to deal with on my own.
I think it is great that you are nfriends now and can talk about the things that matter to each of you.
I was in the same situation as your high school friend My high school boyfriend broke off our engagement. Of course I was devastated at the time. A few weeks later he called me and we were married 6 months after that. But, he couldn't rescue me from myself. That was something I had to deal with on my own.
I think it is great that you are nfriends now and can talk about the things that matter to each of you.
SW-User
I think it's more common than anyone knows, and not just among teens. Many women do hope/pray that someone will come into their lives and rescue them from hell on earth.
Men who know these women or date them can't be held responsible for not being their *rescuer*. Women need to be more realistic and use what resources are out there to empower them to help themselves.
Men who know these women or date them can't be held responsible for not being their *rescuer*. Women need to be more realistic and use what resources are out there to empower them to help themselves.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
:) I think that's the onset of what's called maturity. It's when you start reflecting on the hurt that you may have caused or be causing others as much as or more than what others may have inflicted on you.
Likewise, it's been 50+ years since my first serious girlfriend told me that she wanted to move on. If I was inclined to contact hie now, it would be to thank her for dumping me :)
Likewise, it's been 50+ years since my first serious girlfriend told me that she wanted to move on. If I was inclined to contact hie now, it would be to thank her for dumping me :)
Pretzel · 61-69, M
wow. that was deep.
I'm sure it must make those songs so different.
Music has such power - "Just You N Me" reminds me of a girl I dated after I graduated high school. She was a truly wonderful person and if the social media site is any indication she has had a wonderful life. I would never expect to hear from her - and really with so many miles traveled in different directions doubt there would be any point. But in my case the song makes me smile
I'm sure it must make those songs so different.
Music has such power - "Just You N Me" reminds me of a girl I dated after I graduated high school. She was a truly wonderful person and if the social media site is any indication she has had a wonderful life. I would never expect to hear from her - and really with so many miles traveled in different directions doubt there would be any point. But in my case the song makes me smile
NaughtyPickle · M
SatyrService · M
Wiseacre · F
I can't say this ever happened to me...then again, I had very few relationships.
GovanDUNNY · M
Your a Bounder
NaughtyPickle · M
Could be worse
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
Sometimes it takes a lifetime to find out the truth about someone you thought you knew well. But many times those marriage don’t work out because marrying is an escape. Victims often start having to deal with the abuse deeply in their minds once they feel really safe and secure & then problems arise from that.
Peppa · 31-35, F
Life can really give you some perspective.
I think as time goes on I'm learning the value of honest communication.
What would be interesting is had she told you, would you have stayed and tried to work at things? Would it have been out of guilt?
As lovely as it is to have insight now, your life could have taken another route one in which probably would have caused you both more pain and suffering.
I think as time goes on I'm learning the value of honest communication.
What would be interesting is had she told you, would you have stayed and tried to work at things? Would it have been out of guilt?
As lovely as it is to have insight now, your life could have taken another route one in which probably would have caused you both more pain and suffering.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
@Peppa Actually, there were times, when I was in my twenties, when I fell into the "codependent trap." I would be attracted to someone vulnerable, because I thought I could win her love by being her hero. That never worked, obviously. It was a sign of my lack of confidence in my ability to be attractive to a woman.
pennynoodles · 56-60, F