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Did i do wrong?

My husband... well ex has filed for divorce against me. Yes there were issues but he did spring this on me out of the blue. Well over a series of conversations I feel it was calculated that he was planning to spilt but me receiving the news that he wanted a divorce was a shock to me. He's blaming me for the breakdown of our marriage & isn't admitting to any of his faults. He was quite pushy on asking me to adhere to what he wanted to write for the grounds for the divorce. I'm not denying any of them. But I am going to write his contribution to the marriage as its never one sided. Anyway I received the paperwork for the divorce yesterday & i messaged my ex saying I will sign but I wanted payment for a car i gave him 4 months ago (he never paid for the car, never offered to & actually said he rather not pay for it!) Also he still has the keys to my property that we lived in together (I bought this property months b4 we were even a couple, his name isn't on the mortgage nor was he contributing to the mortgage, he was just paying half the regular bills like electricity) although he moved out he still has a set of keys & is no longer paying towards the bills & most of his personal items are still at the property.

Anyway he is now ignoring my messages & his mother removed me from the family group chat. Don't mind about the group chat as I hadn't taken part in it for months!

But I do think its unfair to be ignored about getting my keys back & asking for payment of my car thT I gave him esp when he's had soleuse of the car & the name transferred months ago well b4 the divorce was mentioned.

Am I in the wrong?
I'd pack up all his stuff neatly and deliver it to his place (or his mother's if you don't know where he is.)

I'd change the locks.

I'd write off the car as an expensive mistake.

I'd stand firm that the house is 100% yours.

I see nothing wrong with including your side of what went wrong with the marriage in the paperwork for the divorce. In fact, I think it's important to do so.
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@hartfire thanks! Yea I know he's staying with his family, yea cud pack his stuff & leave it round, suppose i cud change the locks so wudnt matter if he still had the key! wud be tricky tho as after he moved out I did go to stay with my family for moral support... the property is in England & I'm currently in Ireland & we r in a lock down! :( yikes!
Ksmile14 · F
Not at all. You deserve at least that.
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BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@SW-User I'm considering a lawyer now. He wants a quick divorce although he did spring the news on me. I'm not trying to stop the divorce, the marriage is definitely dead but I do think we need to be fair... well sometimes fair doesn't happen at times unfortunately
Hoodski · 36-40, M
Not wrong at all
Frank52 · 70-79, M
Not wrong.

I think TabbyReader has given the best practical advice. Unfortunately the COVID situation is preventing so many previously easy and practical ways of behaving from being carried out. It's a sad situation all round.
SW-User
These break ups always sadly go this way. I watched this with my brother who in the end cut his loses and just signed and hit it through asap
SW-User
It's totally understandable, and of course you are right that you want back the money you bought that car for, but honestly? Do you really need that money back? Does it worth the stress and effort? Isn't it easier to let it go and be over this whole divorce as fast as possible?
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@SW-User I do agree that in the long run I'm better off without him & the stress etc... also given he never offered to pay for the car just shows his character to me... again better off without. That said, its partially on the principle of it & also I had bought my mum's car off her & also need the capital to pay her. My ex is aware of it... if it comes down to it yes might need to let go of the car but also don't think I shld be taken advantage of...
braveheart21 · 61-69, M
Change the locks and all your passwords... Keep all txt msgs and letters or notes... Your solicitor can use them
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@MARTAisback I did wrong for asking for payment for a car he never paid for & is using frequently? And also for the keys for a property I own? If he wanted to leave which he did he should have taken all of his stuff!

 
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