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My crush rejected me

Long post. I’m best friends with this girl , We met last year at an dance competition , we accidentally picked the same song , she came up to me saying stuff about my arse , we met again by accident at the show case then her Instagram randomly popped up so I added her , we kept in touch for an year , she got me to work with her , i entered an another by random and she was the host None of us knew we would be there , I brought an shot harness , she said she was going to buy the same , I thought she was interested in me romantically too because she kept doing things such as sitting on my lap , touching me , kissing me , always complimenting my body and my outfits every time she seen me , she knew every time I was upset and how I was feeling without me saying anything , she always made an effort to be around me , we talked about everything and we did everything together even the stuff you should keep private , last night I told her I like her in that way , she was really nice about it but said she isn’t interested in me because of my body. She only likes chubby girls. She said I was too skinny. I have body dysmorphia , I’m skinny because of an medical condition which she is aware of. We didn’t have any boundaries as such , she even got me to put in my tampon in front of her. We are both in relationships but our partners let us sleep with girls. I can’t stop randomly crying. It’s really hurt me. She is looking for another girl which isn’t me.

 
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