I realized eventually that a lot of miscommunication had occured between me and the opposite sex in the sense that quiet a bit of what I provided was considered platonic in nature, in that when I like someone that way I crave knowing their inner worlds even if they are dark as fuck and to help them fight off the demons in their own mind and make them know even if they feel unlovable that someone outside them does.
But Alas, quite a bit of that emotional support is thought of as friendly behavior so I stopped actually saying I wanted a *girlfriend* because the way I look at it now the way neurotypical women use those terms it could be merely for someone the find desirable in the bedroom and nothing more and I ..
don't care to use a woman that way... if I were content with merely sex I could have found that so easily to be honest.
I mean if nothing else I could have found a friend who was horny often and hooked up with them when they were single because shocker but I am aware that good girls do bad things sometimes and women get horny too but I dislike it with no strings attached.
So now I just say I want a lover who is like my best friend at the same time. Communication problems resolved.
