I Have a Crush
While my ambivalent heart beating faster and my rational brain trying to calm it down, I am writing you this letter with great courage( despite my biggest fear i.e "being vulnerable"). I will try to put everything I felt and suppressed in last few months into this letter.
I wonder sometimes while thinking about "infinite wonder that is our universe", if our lives are just the result of random things happening or is there a predefined path or is it a mixture of both? Thinking back of the last six months that had happened, there are several reasons why I couldn't express my feelings, for one I am a coward when it comes to the matters of heart, I thought I had time to gather courage, I wanted to make sure my feelings are sincere, I was trying to get the feeling of little affection from your side before I put myself out and so on.. Nevertheless, I always wonder what if I could have done things differently, where would we be.
I liked you, liked you very much(still do) for the reasons I am consciously aware of and for the reasons that are subconscious, I just wish I had time and courage. I wish I was insouciant like in my childhood days, at least then I wouldn't have felt the pain and sadness, when I saw you getting close to another soul.
There is a silver-lining here (I have to find one), thanks to you I felt all these new feelings I never had. Now I know and now I understand if somebody talks about similar feelings. Thanks to you I got the courage to write down my feelings and express. I know we are way beyond the point of return, all I can do now is to go back in time and change things but unfortunately I can't. I know my feelings slowly whittle away with time and I will be back to happy-go-lucky person that I was. I wish you will be happy with your newfound relationship.
Yours Truly,
I wonder sometimes while thinking about "infinite wonder that is our universe", if our lives are just the result of random things happening or is there a predefined path or is it a mixture of both? Thinking back of the last six months that had happened, there are several reasons why I couldn't express my feelings, for one I am a coward when it comes to the matters of heart, I thought I had time to gather courage, I wanted to make sure my feelings are sincere, I was trying to get the feeling of little affection from your side before I put myself out and so on.. Nevertheless, I always wonder what if I could have done things differently, where would we be.
I liked you, liked you very much(still do) for the reasons I am consciously aware of and for the reasons that are subconscious, I just wish I had time and courage. I wish I was insouciant like in my childhood days, at least then I wouldn't have felt the pain and sadness, when I saw you getting close to another soul.
There is a silver-lining here (I have to find one), thanks to you I felt all these new feelings I never had. Now I know and now I understand if somebody talks about similar feelings. Thanks to you I got the courage to write down my feelings and express. I know we are way beyond the point of return, all I can do now is to go back in time and change things but unfortunately I can't. I know my feelings slowly whittle away with time and I will be back to happy-go-lucky person that I was. I wish you will be happy with your newfound relationship.
Yours Truly,
