I Have A Crush On Someone I Can't Have
Forbidden feelings.
So I've been in a relationship for almost ten years. We've been engaged for seven years, but we decided to halt any plans on getting married just because I think we lost interesting in the idea of being married and felt content with just being in a long term relationship. Anyways...
About eight months ago, I fell into a deep depression and started to feel indifferent about almost everything in my life. I began to feel stagnant in my relationship and started to find interest in the idea of pursuing a relationship outside of this one.
But not just anybody. No one local or easily accessible.
There's a guy. We "met" on facebook and now we recently started gaming together. I like him. I barely know him, but I like him a lot. He lives 793.9 mi away so it's not like I can actually physically cheat with him, but emotionally I think I may be. All of the conversations that we have had have been friendly, nothing crossing the line. We've got a lot of like interests, and he gives me those "butterflies" that I've missed since the beginning of my current relationship.
But I know it's wrong and I can't help but want for this friend. It saddens me because I can't risk ruining the good thing I've got with my actual boyfriend (whom I do love dearly and is my best friend in the world), but I can't fight how I'm feeling...
So I've been in a relationship for almost ten years. We've been engaged for seven years, but we decided to halt any plans on getting married just because I think we lost interesting in the idea of being married and felt content with just being in a long term relationship. Anyways...
About eight months ago, I fell into a deep depression and started to feel indifferent about almost everything in my life. I began to feel stagnant in my relationship and started to find interest in the idea of pursuing a relationship outside of this one.
But not just anybody. No one local or easily accessible.
There's a guy. We "met" on facebook and now we recently started gaming together. I like him. I barely know him, but I like him a lot. He lives 793.9 mi away so it's not like I can actually physically cheat with him, but emotionally I think I may be. All of the conversations that we have had have been friendly, nothing crossing the line. We've got a lot of like interests, and he gives me those "butterflies" that I've missed since the beginning of my current relationship.
But I know it's wrong and I can't help but want for this friend. It saddens me because I can't risk ruining the good thing I've got with my actual boyfriend (whom I do love dearly and is my best friend in the world), but I can't fight how I'm feeling...
