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I Have a Crush On Someone I Shouldn't

this is the absolute WORST thing that could happen to someone.

I have been struggling with this and havent spoken about it to anyone simply because I cant. So, i've decided to articulate it.

I have a huge crush on my manager..and yep..its a woman. I have always been attracted to strong powerful women with GOOD PERSONALITIES. There are lots of awful managers at my job that i've worked with before. This is actually the first time i've worked with her.one on one and i'm loving it. I adore her demeanor, and how patient she is with her staff. I absolutely love how she handles pressure and that she never transfers it to other staff. She is everything i wanna be and it just amazes me. I keep thinking about her when i'm home and at work. its crazy

I know this will never be a thing because:
-She's married with a kid
-there's a good chance she's not gay
-she's a manager and it would be unprofessional
-she doesn't know I exist (outside of work)

I have pretty much accepted the fact that this crush could NEVER unfold into something real. I am hoping for some sort of friendship from her but even that I don't see happening for certain reasons:

-How do I even start a convo with her not related to work?
-How do I contain my emotions so she doesn't know I have romantic feelings for her?
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uncalled4 · 56-60, M
I've had coworker crushes and they are terrible. Just do your job the best you can....I know that's easier said than done.